Enjoying the Scenery

This Thing Called Parenting & Girls Night Out

2011-07-29T22:39:00.000-04:00

So it may come as no surprise to many of you that everything I thought I knew about parenting is pretty much thrown out the window. Yes, there are lots of things I've learned in my years of being a nanny and teaching school that definitely get applied to the way I parent and yet no one could have prepared me for what it really was like. You see, in the years of nannying and teaching and even the countless times I took care of my neices and nephews and thought up all kinds of fun stuff to do with them, there always came a time when they returned to the ones who "parented" them. But now? Now, I am that parent. With these precious souls there is no returning them to the ones who parent them, because it's me. Well, me and the man I could not do this without. Seriously, I have no idea how single moms do it.

Speaking of "the man"...last weekend we decided to put the kids in respite. The agency we are with says we can do that once a month. We thought it would be best to try and not use it especially while they are still adjusting, but after a crazy week we went ahead with plans. It was definitely the right choice. The kids missed us and we talked to them every night assuring them we would pick them up on Sunday. My man and I enjoyed just lounging around, sleeping in, going out to eat and just making sure we were still on the same page on all kinds of stuff. Friday night we went to Ichiban, a Japanese Steak House, for dinner. I got sushi for an appetizer and we enjoyed a lovely meal with fun entertainment too! Saturday night we met our friends at AppleBees at 10:00! Normally we would be in bed by that time but hey, why not live it up! Such a fun refreshing weekend we had. And it was good to see the kids again!

It used to annoy me when Moms would complain and get frustrated with their kids especially when they had a hard time getting pregnant or having kids. To be honest, it still kinda annoys me and yet, I am definitely a little more sympathetic towards mothers in general! I feel it is important to spend time with your children and I do not want to put them at a sitter too often, even if it is Ma-Ma, but sometimes we as mothers just need a break. I am fast realizing how refreshing even an hour of alone time can be. Yes, I know that we just jumped right into parenting without the 9 month prep but it is the role we chose, and the ministry we feel called too so we (I) need to "suck it up" and realize that my time of being alone and having things the way I like it is over. Notice all the "I's" in this paragraph. Motherhood brings out the selfish side of me. I am realizing more and more how hard it is to lay aside the things that "I" want to do and tend to the needs of my children, even if there are lots of other things that seem more important at the time.

Yesterday, I was supposed to have a root canal done so my dear Mom came and picked up my children. My appointment was pretty early in the morning and I would've had to wake them up to take them down. And while I'm at it, can I just say that I pretty much have the most amazing mom ever? She comes up every Tuesday and hangs out with them while I work at the auction and is always ready and willing to help in whatever way she can. These kids of mine have stolen her heart and she is an amazing Ma-Ma! Anway, back to the root canal. It never happened! After my consultation the Dr. said she would suggest pulling the tooth because it is cracked and a root canal wouldn't take care of the problem. My dentist won't be impressed, but that is definitely what I am going to do. The tooth is in the bottom in the back and no body will notice if I get it pulled. I would 10 times rather be knocked out and get it pulled than do through the trauma of a root canal. So after my root canal that didn't happen I came home and got some things taken care of. Mom said the kids were fine and having fun so I took advantage of the alone time and did some shopping. One of my stops was a Christian Book Store. I realized the other day that in about every stage of life I have been in, I have read books relating to it. Like when I was teaching, I read books on teaching, when I was single, I read books on how to deal with that. The same with dating and then marriage. Suddenly it dawned on me that I possessed not one book about parenting. So I bought a few books that seemed to be filled with tips and advice for mothers. Ahhh well now, that should make it all better! (yeah right). Would love to have you guys tell me the best book on parenting you've read! I know that parenting foster kids is different in a way, but alot of things are still the same.

Last night I went with a group of ladies to this darling cafe to celebrate a birthday. This particular group of ladies is not made up of friends that I grew up with but when we get together it has that comfy feel. You know, the kind of feeling that you can open your mouth and say anything and you won't get judged? Yeah, that one. There is no better kind of friend, I am convinced.

The ever famous tomatoe pie was actually quite good although I was quite happy with my Turkey Panini. Some of us gals who wanted to try the Tomatoe Pie but weren't quite brave enough to have it as our meal, bought a piece to share. It really was yummy. So was the cupcake I had for dessert!!!

I find these evenings even more refreshing now that I am a mother myself. It was nice to sit with other mothers and share frustrations and tips and advice. Not all of the group were mothers but everyone participated in the lively conversation. A few of us are also foster/adoptive mothers so it was good to get that perspective as well.

After last evening, I decided I needed to be much more consistent in things. When I say "No", that's exactly what it means. It's been quite an exhuasting day to say the least. I think Miss A had at least 15-20 time outs. Mostly for saying things like "I'm not listening" and "No" when she was told she was not allowed to have candy or watch a movie etc. I promptly put her in time out without a warning each and every time. It was exhausting and draining and I told Brad it takes more energy to remain calm than it does to just deal with stuff like I would want to! By the end of the day though, it was amazing how they started listening right away without complaining. Hopefully tomorrow and the next day I can stick with it and give these kids the security they need. There is such security in boundries and guidelines and kids thrive in that.

Well, this post has been long enough and it's time to join my hubby in bed. This was written in the course of the day so there are probably plenty of errors! I have so much I want to blog about and it's so frustrating that I can't blog about all the memories we are making with our kids. It kinda makes me want to yell at the big bad caseworker person and say "FINE, I JUST WON'T BLOG THEN" (as if they care if I blog or not!). In reality our caseworker is very sweet and when I think about how it probably is protecting the kids I can't help but comply. Maybe someday when we can really call them our own, I'll catch you up on their history with us in pics! For now, it's good-night...

Meltdowns and Garden Sheds

2011-06-24T13:38:00.000-04:00

Oh my, people...how my life has changed! I wish I had time to blog about my days every day. Truth is, I rarely get on facebook more than once a day now. Gone are the days of sleeping in, surfing the web, playing swag buck games, reading blogs, taking a nap, watching a movie, meeting my friends for lunch/coffee, relaxing by the pool and the list goes on. Sure, I watch movies...only now it's Thomas and Dora! Relaxing by the pool...doesn't really happen because a certain little lady would dive right in if I didn't keep an eye on her. Sleeping in...that's getting better, the 6:00 wake up time has stretched to about 7:30. I set my alarm for 7 and try and get in some Bible Reading and Prayer before little ones join me.

I'm not complaining though. These children have become such a blessing to Brad and I. We really do have it made. Because they were in another foster home before coming to our home, I know that alot of work went into helping them. In conversations with their previous foster mother who tells me they spoke only Spanish, ate with their hands, and were "wild", I know we are blessed. They are very polite, eat well, play together nicely and go to bed without a fuss (most times)!

Sure I've had an occassional meltdown or 2 and spent an evening or 2 crying in my room after Brad gets home. Just keepin' it real people. My dear patient husband has been so understanding and is so so supportive. Saturdays, he keeps the kids entertained while I sleep in and then doesn't mind if they follow him around all day asking him all kinds of questions, while I get my cleaning done and just bask in the silence! I think that has been one of the biggest adjustments again. The constant chattering, noisy playing, music going, lots of "Why" and if an answer doesn't satisfy.."But Mom...WHY?" To say that one of my favorite times of the day is naptime is an understatement. That's when I should be napping, but like to catch up on reading blogs, facebook and get some work done and just be quiet!

I've learned a few things in the past few weeks. If I set aside about an hour in the morning to play games, read books etc. they entertain themselves well the rest of the morning. Sure there are other things I would rather be doing, and feel like I need to get done, but that hour fills up their love tank for a while. I also feel like we are finally in a routine. The bed doesn't have to be made perfectly, the table doesn't have to be set exactly, the washcloths don't have to be in a perfect square, the fact that they love to help and are showing responsibility is worth it!

We've done all kinds of fun things the past few weeks and I wish so so bad I could share pictures with you all. I think that is one of the reasons I don't blog that much anymore. I am such a picture person and love to write about all we did. Maybe I can fnd a way to be able to do both. The agency we are with stressed over and over again that we may not put pics of any kind on the web. We've done things like Oregon Dairy Farm Days, seeing Thomas, pool parties, weekly library trips, campfires, days at the park, etc.

The children have adjusted well and are fitting in so good with our church family and extended families. This week we had Bible School and the children were so excited to go every night. I was at a different location teaching the older girls and Brad was busy running sound, but the children had no problem finding their friends and doing ok without Mommy and Daddy nearby.

So now it's Friday and then the weekend. Weekends are so looked forward to now for sure because Brad is here to help out and give me a break. We are looking forward to family night tonight and a party with friends here tomorrow night!

The past few weeks, Brad spent hours building a garden shed from our barnwood. It looks even better than I pictured in my head! I've got a bunch of perennials waiting to get planted around it this weekend. So thankful to have a hubby who enjoys making all kinds of stuff that his wife dreams up!

Later....

"Mommy"

2011-06-06T06:42:00.000-04:00

I've been called "Mommy" a handful of times in my lifetime. Over the years of teaching school it would come out of a students mouth when they needed something or wanted to show me something and then they would get a funny look on their face when they realized what they had said. My nieces and nephews have also called me mom a time or 2 and when the Leid kiddos were living here I was addressed as "Mommy" every now and then before they realized it! It was always "by mistake".

Yesterday (Tuesday), Brad and I picked up the most adorable little girl and boy and now, I get called "Mommy" countless times a day. I have even started addressing myself as that. We have entered the world of foster parenting. We are hoping to adopt these dear little children sometime in the future. As of now it looks very hopeful that "A" will become our daughter someday.

Yesterday as we ripped her from the arms of her present foster mother my heart was breaking. Her cries of terror and anger were almost more than I could handle. I just wanted to gather her into my arms and hug her cares away. At the time, I was the "bad guy" taking her away from her Mommy. Finally, her foster mom left and it was us and the caseworkers. She was still sobbing, heartbroken, while her brother sat quietly in his car seat waiting on his next adventure. I wonder what was going through his little mind. He had just had an hour visit with his birth father and now was leaving the home he had known for the last 6 months and now was headed to be in the care of some strangers. He just sat there quietly, not saying a word, with Brad and waited on the rest of us.

Pretty soon we seen that things were not going to get any better and we should just try leaving. The caseworker put her into her car seat and strapped her in, as she was kicking and screaming the whole time. I sat in the front seat quietly crying while Brad held my hand. As soon as we left the driveway, her sobs quieted and the rest of the way home she just did the whole sighing sobbing thing. It was almost as if she was just resigned to her fate.

We didn't say too much on the 20 minute ride home and when we got here they were busy running around exploring everything. The home they came from sent a few tubs of clothing and toys along and I put stuff away and got organized while Brad played with the kids. Most of the day "A" asked "Where my Mommy", and I would tell her that she's going to live here now. She didn't say anything but would just go on playing. I wonder what was going through her mind.

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Wow...shows how busy my life really is! The above was typed and ready to go but I wanted to go over it some more before I posted it. Now, it's Monday. Tomorrow it will be a week since these kiddos have joined our home! Gone are my days of surfing the web, sleeping in, staying up late etc! These guys sure keep me busy. They get up around 6 or 6:30 every morning, so I have been getting to bed early so I can function in the morning! Yesterday was Sunday and as soon as we put the kids down for naps, Brad sent me to bed as well. They only slept around an hour and a half but he didn't let them wake me until I had been sleeping for 2 1/2 hours. I so needed that long nap. It seemed like the whole week just caught up with me.

Brad has been the most amazing daddy. He does so well with them. "Mommy, where Daddy" is a phrase I hear a couple of times a day. After the weekend we had with them getting all kinds of daddy's attention, I know I'll hear it countless times again today! It seems the children are adjusting well and we are loving them so much and they bring so much joy to our home. Yes, there are things that I miss about life a week ago, but I sure wouldn't trade it! I have been snapping pics of them left and right and so wish I could show you all, but the law forbids us from putting any kids of pics of them on the web. You'll just have to meet them in person to see how cute they really are!

Well, I'm off to start my day! Pretty soon I'll hear little feet coming down the hall and someone will want some snuggle time. I think that's my favorite time of the day...when they wake up in the morning or from naps and want to snuggle. Or maybe it's when we're tucking them in and they each want a hug and a kiss, or maybe it's at supper when all they want to do is chatter, or maybe it's at family time when we teach them new songs and their little voices just sing, or maybe it's when they're playing and all of a sudden "J" will say..."I love you Mommy".

It's so weird how in an instant I became a "Mommy". The one whom these children look to for love and help and everything else. They are so dependent on me. The other times that I was called "Mommy" was a "mistake" and never really intentional, but now I really am a Mommy and I am loving it!

Latest Projects

2011-05-27T10:08:00.000-04:00

I have been busy the last month or so finally finishing up some projects that I had sitting around! I bought this set of night stands at the auction for a dollar.

One was missing a shelf and one had a string for a handle and the other had no handle.

The tops were moldy and gross!

So I got out my trusty sander and cleaning bucket and got to work. Then, there they sat. Month after month waiting on me to finish what I started. Soon they made the journey to the basment from the shop. I think my poor patient hubby was hoping they would soon disappear! All of a sudden one day I got the urge and went to work. After a coat of primer (2 on the tops), I painted them and then distressed them. We went to Home Depot where we finally found handles that would work. Love the finished look!

One sits in my kids room, the other was sold to a friend.

This window/mirror/shelf was going to get tossed to the junk pile at the auction until I rescued it. Nice of me right?! It was a blueish color. I took the mirror panes out before I remembered to get a picture of it!

After a few coats of paint, it has the look that I love. Alas, if I were to keep all of my treasures, my house would be overflowing. I sold it at the yard sale for $10.00!

Then there's this table. I had never done a project quite this size, so it sat alongside the nightstands! This table also cost me only one buckaroo!

It was in bad shape. The top was awful and it was missing a piece along the back.

Every now and then I would chip away at the top but never really got anywhere. Finally Brad took pity on me and stripped it for me. He also made it a lot more sturdy and made a nice custom piece to go along the back. See how he even made it curvy to compliment the bottom of the drawer?! He sure is handy! I loved that we could keep the original drawer pulls on it. I sold this one at my yard sale and it went off to a good home!

Along with these pieces, I also did another end table, and a few other pieces. All were either free or a dollar at the auction. Now that these are all gone, it's time to restock and get back to work. I love doing this. It's almost therapeutic for me and the money I make from it is a blessing too!

Catching Up

2011-05-27T09:20:00.000-04:00

It's a quiet morning....

The birds are filling the air with praises and my washer is humming away. Buses are pulling into the school across the street and I hear the sounds of kids talking on their way to school. I typically am not a "morning person", but lately, have found a beauty in it.   I got up at 5:30 to use the restroom and had every intention of going back to bed till at least 8 or 9 but thought I would take advantage of the cool morning air and get my cleaning done and laundry started. Maybe I'll take time for a forenoon nap!

Brad has been gone this past week to Alabama. He is helping to clean up the damage that fierce tornadoes have left behind. He's been on quite a few work trips in his day and he says he has never seen anything worse. The devastation is so widespread. He said it feels like they didn't even make a dent in the damage around them. How much we have to be thankful for. Last night there was a tornado watch in our area and as the dark clouds rolled in and then passed us by with only a shower, I thought about how it would feel to lose everything. Sure, a house, pictures, heirlooms, etc are all "things" but it still would bring such a sense of loss, let alone if you lost your spouse, siblings, children or other family members.

With Brad gone, I've been kept busy. I thought it would be great to be at home a few days with nothing to do and nowhere to go but it has not happened! It's made my week fly by though. On Wednesday, I got a call from our agency asking if we would take a little boy and girl. They are currently with foster parents but the family they are with, already have a few other adopted children and with summer coming on, feel busy with these young ones. I'm told they are an older couple and that the boy (J) "asks a lot of questions and has lots of energy". I really don't know what we're in for but we're up to the challenge! They told me the children would come next week or possibly Friday. After finding out Brad was away, much to my relief, they decided to go for next week.   Since Monday is a holiday and the offices are closed, we will be picking them up on Tuesday. I would've been ok with getting them Friday (today) but it is just so much better if Brad can be there the first day they are here.

I love having this time to prepare and get ready for the adjustments sure to come. I know it's pretty rare to have such notice ahead of time. Often, the children get placed within a few hours or a day or 2 at the latest. Having a week, feels to me, like being pregnant! Minus the bloating, hormones, cravings etc! I told my sister it's almost like we had an ultrasound now and can start preparing more extensively. There were some things we were waiting to buy and get ready until we knew the ages, and sex of the children we will be getting. Now I could go out and buy bedding, toys, etc. I'm hoping to get lucky at some yard sales this weekend. We have pretty much everything, but would like to have some more toys for outside since it's warmer now.

It's weird how I love these kids already and have never met them. Yes, I know it will have it's days and I know that raising foster children has it's own set of unique challenges, but at the same time, we are so ready for this. There's a pretty good chance that we could eventually adopt the girl (A), but her 1/2 brother (J) will probably be going to live with his father in a few months. I know we are in for sleepless nights, no more quiet times around the house, etc, but this house has been quiet for so long. I'm ready for the sound of little feet running around even though it means I'll be sweeping the floor every day instead of once a week or so like I do now!   Brad is so excited too and can't wait to get home. We plan on spending Saturday and Monday putting up beds, finishing our toybox and garden shed, and doing our mulching and lots of other outside stuff so it's done and we can concentrate on the kids and their needs.

This week I also met with a specialist to talk about possible testing because of all these miscarriages. Our meeting was about an hour and after discussing it with Brad, we're going to pursue at least some testing to see if we can get answers. Yesterday they did bloodwork. There was a long row of vials of my blood on the counter when they were finished! Next week on Wednesday they will be doing some kind of test where they put a catheter in my uterus and fill it with saline to see if there are any abnormalities there. I am soo not looking forward to it especially since it will be the day after we get the children. The test has to be done that day (a certain number of days into your cycle). My mom or sister or both will be here to be with the children or Brad will take off of work. We're waiting to see what the children are like before we decide for sure. The whole testing process looks overwhelming to me and yet at the same time, it will be nice to hopefully know what is causing the miscarriages.

So, knowing all the changes about to descend upon me, I'm going to enjoy these quiet mornings and days while I can. And yet, I can't wait for this phase of life headed our way!

Barnwood Projects

2011-04-20T16:31:00.000-04:00

Sooo..remember that old barn we tore down back in November?

Well, it has been reduced to this...

After ~~weeks,~~ months of it taking up all of the room in our big 3 car garage/shop, it finally came to the point where more organization HAD to happen. Spring is here and it was time to dig out our lawn mower from the piles of rubble around it. A few weeks ago, Brad and I spent a whole Saturday out in the garage sorting and stacking it all up. I love watching my husband work. He goes to great lengths to try and explain something to me about his ideas for it all but it doesn't usually sink in till I actually SEE it. When he told me his plan for stacking all of this stuff, I went along with it, most of the time thinking he was nuts and that this was never going to work. But work it did, and splendidly too!

So now that everything is organized it is so much fun to work out there. Yes, there is still a GIANT pile of the bigger timbers that we really have nowhere to go with, but for now, we can at least move out there. Oh, and the tractor is out which is a very good thing. Our lawn is in dire need of some grooming.

Brad's been spending lots of time out there and I join him whenever I can. We've been trying to come up with all kinds of things to make with this ole wood. Some of the ideas came from online sites and some of it is stuff we just came up with!

We salvaged a trap door from the barn and weren't sure what to do with it. After more thought we decided it would make an excellent lid to a chest. This was the result. I so love it but there is no room in my house for it. It can be yours for $100.00!

We also made a BUNCH of these ladders out of the old tobacco lath that was on the roof. According to sites we visited, they are a hot item! You may own one for $5.00!

We also made "baskets" and candle boxes. I think these baskets would look great with pansies or summer flowers planted in them $5.00 if you want either one of these.

I had been wanting to make some signs with some of the siding. For now I made a bunch like this , but want to get a stencil to make the letters a little more uniform. I have 2 of these signs around our house here and LOVE them! One can be yours for $5.00!

Brad also made signs like this for our kids room (more coming later on that). I painted the letters A, B,C on them and simply love how it turned out!

There are still lots of doors. We're thinking of making a table with one of them. I have heard they are in high demand, I just don't now how to connect with the right buyers...

There are also a few of these cool pieces that were part of the frames above the doors/windows. I think they would look great with WELCOME on them or even a last name.

If you would like to custom order something, or if you've got any ideas of things we could make, let me know! We're also looking into selling some things wholesale to a shop somewhere. Also, if you want to buy some wood to make your own thing, we will give you a great deal! For now, if you have a hard time getting ahold of us, guess where we'll be?! Hubby's in the middle of making a great toybox for all kinds of kids toys. Only problem is that it's turning out to be bigger than I thought it would be so we may have to sell it. It's the size of a traditional like cedar chest but I was hoping for something a little smaller. We'll see if I can bear to part with it!

Grief...Once Again

2011-04-19T12:15:00.000-04:00

Grief..this word is becoming all too real to me. It seems like there has been so much of it in my life lately.

Monday, April 4th, something prompted me to take a pregnancy test. Maybe it was the fact that I was feeling yucky, maybe it was the fact that a week before, my "period" had only lasted 1 day, I don't know. But finally, I took one. I did my duty, left it lay on the sink and went about my morning chores. Then I remembered...and went to look. There before my eyes were 2, yes 2, pink lines. So many times in the past year there had been only 1 line and I just thought it would be that way again. I burst into tears and left a message on my hubby's phone. He only gets his calls at break and lunch time so I knew it would be awhile before he called me back. Then I called my doctor's office and the nurse asked me if it was a test from the Dollar Store. Why yes, it was. I had gotten so tired of spending so much money on test after test, so I had bought a bunch at the dollar store. She told me that sometimes they are not as reliable and advised me to go and get another test. So I jetted off to Wal-Mart and bought a pack of 3. Came home, did my thing again and right before my eyes 2 pink lines shot up. My heart skipped a beat. I still had not been able to talk to Brad but had been on the phone with my sister. She was about as delighted as I was and thrilled to pieces. I was a little worried that I had been bleeding about a week before but honestly thought that things would be ok. My doctor wanted to see me as soon as possible so we set up an appointment for the next morning. In the meantime she had me come in and do bloodwork to see where my levels were and also to check my progesterone level. The rest of the day I didn't do too much other than smile!

Tuesday morning as soon as my doctor walked into the room I could tell something was wrong. I don't really remember exactly what she started out with but something like..."I'm so sorry, but things don't look good". She said my HCG levels were way low (142) and my progesterone level was 1.2. Had it been a healthy pregnancy my HCG levels should have been in the thousands and my progesterone level a LOT higher. I sat there numb, not knowing what to say and think. I honestly thought she would tell me that things are looking good and get this..I even had myself thinking maybe she would tell me that I was like 12 weeks along!! Once again, my hopes and dreams were dashed in an instant. She set up an appointment for bloodwork again in a few days and sent me on my way.

I got in my car and the tears came in torrents. I couldn't believe this was happening again. When I got home, I went straight to bed and just cried for a while. Tuesdays are the days I work at the auction so I decided to go, hoping maybe I could block it from my mind for a while. WRONG. I lasted about 2 hours before nearly breaking into tears a few times. Thankfully, the people I work for are very understanding. The next 2 days were spent on the recliner. My heart was broken. It;s hard to explain how I felt towards God. Not really angry...just kinda offended that he didn't see our prayers for a baby as one to answer in the way we wanted. Evenings when Brad came home from work he would just hold me as I cried and said over and over again about how sad I was. Speaking of Brad....he has been amazing through all of this. He has been so strong and yet crying with me. Yet, there was a peace that wasn't there with the other 2 losses we had been through. It's like we have so come to the place that we honestly want God's best for our lives. That doesn't really make things any easier though. I knew that if I didn't let myself grieve, be angry, sad etc...that one day it would be even harder to work through. So for 2 days I did just that, and felt I was ready to move on.

Thursday morning I had another appointment for bloodwork and also a meeting with one of the doctors. He refered me to a specialist and said that we will wait for my numbers to go back to zero and then their office would set up an appointment for me. Thursday afternoon, his nurse called telling me that my numbers had gone up. I was in total shock again. WHAT? It seemed like some kind of cruel joke. It had been hard for me to believe that I was miscarrying because with my other 2 there had been sooo much pain and blood. This time, it was just a day or 2 and nothing painful at all. I had thought that maybe there was some blood there from implantation or something, but had also accepted the fact that from the looks of things, it was actually happening or had already happened. So when the report came back I was shocked. We thought maybe it could be that I was only a few days pregnant but had indeed miscarried one before. We didn't know what was going on. So it was back to the recliner for me with orders to come in for more bloodwork in a few days.

Meanwhile that Friday we got a call from our foster care agency wondering if we would take in 2 brothers. A 10 month old and a 2 1/2 year old. We talked about it but knew that with everything going on with me it just wasn't good timing. I wouldn't have been able to care for them the first few days and I just didn't want to put them through that. We said "No" but now I wish we would've taken them! Hopefully we'll get another call before too long.

Monday morning found me back at the doctors office. By the way, I hate doing bloodwork. They always have a hard time finding a good vein from me. The nurse told me to call back around 2 to get the results. When I called back, they informed me that my numbers were at 42. So it definitely was a miscarriage. I cried all over again. The doctor talked to me about all kinds of things and was very patient in answering all of my questions. We spent about 25 minutes on the phone. When I got off of the phone, it was almost a sense of relief in a way. It had been so hard for me to believe that things could actually be ok after all and I kinda knew in my gut that things wouldn't turn out right but it still was the finality of it all.

Yesterday I had bloodwork once again and my numbers are now at -1. We plan on seeing a specialist to see what could be causing this. Now that it is my 3rd miscarriage it is considered more of a diagnosis. "Habitual Aborter" is the word they use. Sounds awful. I hate the word ABORTION and it almost feels like that diagnosis makes me and my body an abortion machine. From research I've done I am almost positive that it is a progesterone issue and from what I hear that is a pretty easy "fix".

When I tell people that I am at peace with everything they question whether I am sincere. I love being challenged like that, but I can't explain the peace that I have. As much as I would love to be pregnant and bear a child from the fruit of my husband and I, I honestly feel like I have left it go. That doesn't mean that there haven't been times when I am sad or cry or get angry. We have been surrounded by SO many family and friends who have been praying for us and believing with us. Alot of times these past few weeks I felt too angry and weak to pray and it felt so good to know there were people "standing in the gap" for us. THANK YOU. Yes, it still hits me and affects me, but honestly under it all, I feel carried and just at peace...

Fear...

2011-04-04T15:40:00.000-04:00

This 4 letter word used to have such a grip on me. But now, through a series of God teaching me things in all kinds of ways, I feel like, for the most part, I have conquered it. Almost 2 years ago, Brad and I did the Take Back Your Life Seminar. The session on fear hit me hard. Then, last year in Sunday School, I was part of a great group of women who shared openly with each other. One of the books we studied was called So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore. I learned so many valuable truths through this class. Insecurity is often fear based. Brad has helped me with so many of my fears, by praying through them with me and gently correcting me.

But then there are nights like last night. Out of nowhere, fear comes back. Brad and I were laying in bed just chatting when all of a sudden I started sobbing. That familiar thing called FEAR was gripping me so hard. All I could think about was..."What if Brad would die". That seems to be one of my biggest fears. I think alot of my married friends feel the same way. I couldn't control myself and Brad just held me as I cried. He had no idea why I was crying until I finally gathered myself and told him what was going on. I am so so blessed with such a patient loving husband. He left me cry for a while. And then, we prayed together, holding onto each other as hard as we could. He prayed for me and my fears and I prayed and gave it all over to God once again. I could physically feel relief after I gave it all up again. The hardest thing to pray is that "I place my husband into your hands, Lord". Yes, I pray for his physical safety, but in the end, I need to place him once again into the hands of his maker.

Love is such a scary thing in a way. It makes you feel so vulnerable to love someone so much. In the book So Long Insecurity one paragraph goes like this...

"I have always been afraid of losing my most cherished loved one. When giving way to particularly advanced forms of self torment, I have even pictured myself at their caskets, (morbid, I know, but don't try to tell me you haven't done it). But I never once pictured myself several years later, back on my feet to the Glory of God, heart sore and scarred, but pouring my life into hurting people. Helping other people get through what I've gone through is redemption to me. It's the only way on earth to plunder the pain."

This paragraph so says it exactly. Yup, I have done that, and did again last night. My mind was filled with thoughts like...what would my future look like without him, there's no way I could move on, what would I do with the house. My head was spinning with fears that are not even founded. What a good feeling though to know that God is in control. Imagine trying to control the world and all within it. As much as I like to be in control of things it feels so much better to give it all over to the one who knows best.

After praying, talking through things and connecting with my husband again...that big ole fear again took a hike! I'm learning how to work though the fears in my life but am so thankful that they don't come around as often anymore!

This morning, things looked brighter! There was a sweet note waiting on the counter from my husband, thanking me for all that I do for him and letting me know that I will be in his thoughts all day! I had also gone out to the kitchen after Brad was asleep last night and stuck one in his lunch box so I thought it was kinda neat that we had each written notes to the other without knowing it.

It feels like Spring is here to stay...the windows are wide open, birds are singing and my heart is at peace...

Ohhhh Reuben

2011-04-01T11:50:00.000-04:00

Ok so before you start assuming there's a new man by the name of Reuben in my life...think again! The only man in my life is my hubby dear! Well..other than my dad and brothers and..ok you get the drift.

So the sandwich Reuben always kinda grossed me out. Then I discovered I LOVE sauerkraut and then one day when my hubby and I were out to eat, he ordered a Reuben. When his sandwich came I persuaded him to let me try it. OH MY WORD. It was SO yummy! Now, it's one of my favorite things to eat.

A few months ago I came across a recipe for Reuben Casserole and thought I had to try it. It was delish. Last week, my hubby said "Hey, sometime when you need an idea for supper, make that good Reuben Casserole again". I LOVE when he does that. So often I ask him what I should make and he says..."Whatever you make, is absolutely fine with me". I love that he's not picky and eats anything I make, but sometimes it would be good to know if he's hungry for anything in particular. Since he suggested it, it went right on my menu plan. Ok, in reality I don't have a menu plan per say but would love to be that organized. But I do kinda plan them in my head.

Here's the recipe. Super simple and so so yummy!

Spread a 2lb bag of sauerkraut (rinsed and drained) in bottom of lightly greased 9 X 13 pan

Put a layer of corned beef on top of sauerkraut

Spread dressing on this

Layer of swiss cheese

Scatter buttered Rye bread cubes over the cheese.

Bake at 350* for about a half hour-45 minutes

My mom has been saying that they want to come for supper one of these nights so I called her and asked if they like Reubens. She was totally into it, so we had guests for supper tonight.

I also made 2 pies. Lemon sponge and a chocloate chess pie. They were both so good and I was a teeny bit proud of myself! : )

This is all that was left of the Reuben Casserole by the end of the night. Everyone loved it!

RECIPE:

2 lb. bag or can of sauerkraut

1lb. cooked corned beef, sliced thin

1 cup Thousand Island Dressing

1lb. Baby Swiss Cheese (thick slices)

12 slices Rye bread, buttered and cubed.

Lightly grease a 9 x 13 pan. Rinse and drain the sauerkraut. Spread on bottom of pan.

Layer the corned beef evenly over kraut

Spread the dressing over the beef, top with cheese slices

Scatter the bread cubes over the cheese. Press down in pan

Bake at 350* until heated through, about 35-50 minutes.

ENJOY!

Catching my Breath

2011-03-29T11:56:00.001-04:00

Our lives have been so busy the past few weeks and I feel like I finally have time to stop and catch my breath! This will be quite a long post!

First of all, like I had mentioned in my previous post, we had 3 children living with us for a while. They ended up living here for about a month. Talk about changing things overnight! It was quite an adjustment going from just Brad and I to an instant family of 5! I know now why so many of my friends say that at the end of the day all they want to do is lay in bed and be quiet! It took effort for me to make sure that my "quality time loving" husband, got his quality time! We talked about it alot, and he was very understanding. The whole experience was good prep for the foster care process that will be coming our way in the next few weeks! Speaking of that, we have finished our training classes and this week we have our individual interviews. Then we need to have our home approved and then we wait for a call! I am so glad that the bulk of it is finished.

So Rosie came home from the hospital on a Thursday and she thought maybe it would be fun for the kids to be able to spend the weekend with her. Brad and I had the weekend to ourselves and we did nothing other than relax and sleep in! Sunday we picked up the children and they did not want to come home with us. I sure didn't blame them. I felt so bad to put them through the trauma of being shuffled around again, but Rosie just wasn't ready to have them with her full time yet.

That week was tough. The kids were each sick at some time or another. We had planned to move them back permanently that Thursday but decided to do it Wednesday instead. Wednesday morning I woke up to Merle throwing up all over the bathroom. He spent the rest of the day on the couch and didn't want to eat anything all day. I meanwhile was busy getting all their stuff together to move. Thankfully Haley played by herself pretty good that day. Around 11 I got a call from Brad that went something like this..."Hey Honey, don't freak out but I am on my way to the E.R in Ephrata". Well, I of course "freaked out". What's a wife supposed to do after all. My day was packed full already and now my dear husband was in the E.R. "Aunt Becky" (Friend of Rosie and I) came to the rescue because the last thing I felt like doing was packing up the kids and taking them to the E.R. with me especially with Merle being so sick. She came to be with the children so I could go. Brad ended up getting 7 stitches just above his knee. He had been running a grinder thing at work and it kicked back into his knee. He had some pain but the main thing was that he was not allowed to bend his knee untill the stitches get removed.

The thing that made this worse was that this happened about 2 weeks after he had shot a nail through his hand! That also required a trip to the E.R. and time off of work. Then, after not being able to remember the last time he was sick, he got strep throat and was off of work for almost a week. Now this. Somehow God always provides though...

After I got him home, we got the kids all bathed and ready to go home. They didn't know it but Rosie had a big welcome home party planned for them! What fun they had with all their cousins. They were so glad to be home again. All but Merle....he was still sick and spent most of the evening laying on his Mom's bed. He wanted to come back home with us, but I knew he would be fine. Rosie gave us a Wii gaming thing for taking care of her children! We definitely weren't expecting anything. After lots of hugs to the kids, we left the party. Brad knew he wasn't going to be working the next day because of his injury so we ended up staying up late and playing with our new toy!

Thursday morning, I headed down to my moms. Brad and I planned on moving in there for a week to take care of my grandmother while my parents went to Florida. My Mom's nephew was getting married and my parents needed the break! My grandma had fallen the Sunday before and broke her arm in 2 places. Her health had been declining the past month or 2 but this really sent her spiraling. When I got to Mom's at 9:45, I knew Mommie didn't look good but my parents were still planning on going to Florida. I knew they needed to get away so I reassured Mom that we would make sure Mommie was taken care of. Hospice nurses were coming in to help with her care.

About 30 minutes later when I went back in to check on my grandma, I noticed a huge difference in her breathing. I told my mom that I think she is dying. The nurse confirmed that she is really going down hill and could possibly die that day. What a shock! We called my dad and my aunt. Till all was said and done, she passed into Glory about an hour later. I was so so glad that I could be there by her side when she died. She breathed hard for a while, then shallow breaths, closed her eyes, took another breath or 2, and was gone. It was so peaceful. The rest of the day was a blur of funeral plans, notifying family, and grieving. My grandma had lived with my parents for 6 1/2 years and I have many many special memories of her.

Most of my moms family was in Florida for the upcoming wedding. We decided to wait until Tuesday to have the funeral. Many of them had planned on spending the week after the wedding in Florida on vacation. My brother and his family were there and hadn't planned to come home until Saturday after the wedding. My brother and 2 of my cousins ended up flying home just for the funeral and then back to Florida to their families.

My grandma had all of her funeral plans made. Long ago, she had made her clothing to be buried in. She was still Old Order Amish and typically, they get buried in the clothes that they got married in. My grandma had made all new clothes. She had them in a box with the label "Death Clothes".

Inside the box, she had everything neatly arranged.

There was also a baggie with a note and a hankie in it. The note read:

"Girls, Fold this hankie in my hand like my Sister Naomi. Yes, I put her hankie in her hand. How we cried when we visited"

My grandma's sister Naomi passed away a few years ago. She was my grandmas closest sister. Their husbands were the first to die in their family, so of her many sisters, they shared common struggles. My grandma had also made many of her grandaughters hankies to use at her funeral. I remember when she gave mine to me a few years ago. She embroidered black around the edge of a white hankie. I had hoped to never have to use it...

The funeral service itself was beautiful. Yes, it was Old Order Amish, but I loved the whole cultural aspect of it. They were so so nice to us and worked with us well in having things the way Mommie wanted it. She had in her plans that she would like to have a certain preacher from Ohio preach at her funeral. They arranged it and he spoke a powerful sermon. Most of it was in Dutch but I could understand lots of it. He spoke on the Holy Spirit and how wihtout the Holy Spirit in your life "It shofts net" (It doesn't work). I was so surprised to hear such a sermon from an Old Order Amish preacher.

I took a few pics at the graveside. I kept my camera in my coat pocket and snuck a few pics when no one was looking!

Her funeral was a week ago today. I still can't believe that she's gone. It still seems like she should be sitting on the couch at her usual spot at my parents. Every time I would walk in the door, she would greet me with "Well hello there Miss America"! She will be greatly missed...

This week my mom started going through some of her things. Most of her stuff was sold at auction before she moved in with my parents. Mom gave me this piece of furniture and told me that Mommie wanted me to have it. I was one of her namesakes and she had things put aside for us. I will always think of her when I see it...

Looking back over the past 2 weeks, I so see God's hand in it. The timing of Mommie's homegoing was perfect after all.

1.I am so thankful that we moved the children home on Wednesday because I would have had to try and do that after Mommie died.

2. My parents were not on the bus in the way to Florida when she died. I can't imagine if Mommie would've died and I would've been there alone with her.

3. Yes, it was inconvenient timing because of the wedding, and yet, that gave us time to have her body at my parents house on Sunday. Mom had always wanted to have more of an informal viewing there. Many of our church family and friends were there on Sunday and it was alot more personal.

4. My dad was not pressured with work. He didn't have any work planned that week, thinking they would be in Florida!

While we will miss Mommie so much, we are so glad she's in a better place. It is so good to see the stress lifted off of my mom. She had alot to deal with in taking care of her mother especially in the past few months. Wilma and I are so glad to have "our Mom" back! It's fun to see my parents with an empty nest for the first time. I am so thankful for the many, many memories I have of her...

Busy, busy

2011-02-20T00:04:00.001-05:00

Life has taken quite a turn for us. A week ago my friend Rosie was in a serious car accident. You may remember the story I shared last summer http://enjoyingthescenery.blogspot.com/2010/07/lifes-curves.html. Rosie's husband Genie was in a serious motorcycle acccident July 4th weekend and is still in rehab and is not walking or talking. His brain injuries were very severe. With Rosies accident this past weekend, it threw us all into a spin. Seriously...what is going on? Why did this have to happen to HER of all people.

Long story short, we are taking care of 3 of her 4 children until she is ready to have them home again. She is currently in rehab and will be there for probably a week or 2 or 3. Then we will see how strong she is feeling and when she will be ready to have the children living with her again. Her injuries included a shattered hip and a fractured pelvis along with other bumps and bruises. She is not allowed to put any weight on her left leg for 12 weeks and could possible be facing more surgeries in the future. The 7 month old baby has a broken leg and a fractured skull but the skull is healing on it's own. Other friends are taking care of the baby. Hannah, the oldest was also in the accident but wasn't hurt very badly.

Please pray for Rosie's healing and for the childrens emotional state. They are doing very well with us, but it is tough for their little minds to wrap around. I quit my job to care for them and see that their needs are met. I had been planning on quitting in March sometime anyway to prepare for foster care and plans were already in place for my replacement so it was good timing. I do plan to keep my auction job because I love it and the income is nice. Not to mention the free and cheap things I come home with!

I write a note daily on my facebook page on life with the Leid children and sometimes specific ways to pray for them. We do have an account set up for needs for them and Brad and some other men will be overseeing her finances until she is ready to take over again. It's been quite an adjustment for Brad and I to have 3 children with us, but we are loving it and are just glad we can help out. Besides...it sure is good practice for foster care although this is alot more. Rosie is a dear friend of mine and it's hard to be here for the children and not be able to be with her all the time like I would want to be. I have been with her 2 days last week when she started rehab. The children were fine at a cousins house. I do realize that taking care of her children and giving them stability in this crisis is one way I can ease her mind and "be there" for her.

Pray for us with these changes that we could minister to the needs of these precious children...

Here is a link to an article that was written in our local paper. http://articles.lancasteronline.com/local/4/351877

The Leid Children. This was after Elliot was released from Hershey and his caregiver brought him over to be with his siblings. They were so glad to see him again.

New Office!

2011-02-09T16:24:00.000-05:00

So 2 years after moving into this place, we are still working on getting things done. You see... a few things need to be in place before projects happen. 1) Money. 2) Time. and 3) Feellikeitishness. (yes, that is a word! ) Little by little things are getting done around here, but then there are always new things. I already have a list a mile long of ideas for hubby to work on this summer. He doesn't seem to mind though cuz I'm usually right there beside him helping in whatever way I can. It's a hobby of both of ours..tinkering around and so much fun to do it together. Brad is so patient with me and doesn't mind showing me how to use different tools or explaining things to me.

On our list of things to do sometime is fix up our basement. As of now, it's all block and nothing on the ceiling etc. The winter we got married, we managed to get our big huge TV down after taking out 7 (yes 7) steps. We threw down some remnant carpeting and put some furniture down there and it's actually quite cozy. But little by little we'd like to finish the ceiling, do the walls and put some flooring down. With the thought of kiddos coming into the picture soon we decided to move our office down there to free up a bedroom upstairs. One corner was just the perfect size. So we saved up to get lumber and carpet but everything else was free. It actually didn't cost us that much. Brad's grandpa had left a BUNCH of insulation here when he moved and the paint was leftover from the rest of our house.

The main thing/project was a built in bookshelf. Brad did an AMAZING job. He is such a perfectionist with this kind of thing and the end result is beautiful!

The house we live in was built by Brad's grandpa and he left us all sorts of treasures when he moved! Among them being old circus tent poles. Grandpa had salvaged them after a circus was going to throw them out. We were planning to use more of them in the bookshelf but they didn't look quite right. I ended up painting them black and we used them in the corners. Member that list for summer I told you about? One thing on there is build a pergalo with the rest of these poles.

The shelves took a while to do. Brad notched them all out so they would fit into each other. Talk about precise work! I chisled the middle parts out. And never mind the headphones. I hate loud noises so this way he could keep sawing away. And it is kinda tough to work with your hands over your ears! ; )

Thankfully we had the whole basement to spread out the painting projects

The window was FREE from a job Brad was on. We framed it out with barn wood!

Dad tore out a bunch of cabinets at a job and wondered if we wanted them. We said yepper and used one as beside the desk. I painted it black and distressed it. The counter top was FREE from leftover scraps at a job Brad did. Yay for FREE things and yay for leftovers!

In our office upstairs I had a closet to store all kinds of stuff in. These wire baskets were a "No sale" at the auction so I got to take them home for FREE and thought they would be cute organizers for envelopes etc.

Love that there is also room for my sewing machine in case I get inspired to use it again. "Mending" is about all it does right now although there are all kinds of ideas in my head!

He also made a great storage area under the stairs.

So...here's the after. It's a little tough to get good pics in here because the room is so small! I don't like that the first thing you see is the gun cabinet. Maybe painting it black would look better?

The rest of the basement will have to wait...but for now, besides the big pile of kitchen cabinets in the middle of the room, this is as good as it's gonna get for now!

New Year...New Beginnings

2011-01-21T16:42:00.000-05:00

This post is long overdue seeing it's pert near the end of January. I make no apologies though because you all have been warned of my procrastinating tendancies!

I love the magic of New Year's Eve. The thing that at the stroke of midnight there is a New Year. 2011. Can you believe it? I distinctly remember 2000. Y2K. Whatever you want to call it. Oh my word, we all thought the world was going to end. My parents didn't stock up on food, emergency supplies etc, and I wasn't really big into computers yet. But it was still that tiny little thought..."What is going to happen at midnight"? But it came and went just like thousands before. No great computer glitch, no lightning bolt, nothing. Just a silent night broken by cheers and gunshots. Maybe it was a little quieter than other years because everyone was on edge. All I remember was that I was with my youth group and we were having a blast!

So fast forward 11 years. New Years Eve. I had to work Friday morning and then decided to work at the auction as well. On holidays we have special antique auctions and I often don't work because they are usually on a day that I have to work at my other job. Normally these auctions start at 8:00 a.m. and are usually over 3ish or 4. Well, not this one. It went till after 6. After working all day I really didn't feel like dashing home, getting a finger food ready, getting myself ready and zipping out the door. There were a few New Years parties we were invited to but we still hadn't really made up our mind which one we were going to go to. So I called up my hubby and asked him if he would care if we just stayed home. He was totally for it, and said he'll stop for Chinese and a movie. Sounds good to me!

We feasted on Chinese and watched a movie. Can't remember what it was though! Around 10:00 I started to feel very, very old. This just isn't right thought I. No party New Years Eve? So I came up with a plan. My hubby went right along with it. We got dressed in grungy, mismatched clothing and headed out.

The first house we came to was dark. Not a party in sight. After a call to my mom we found out the host of the party was very sick and the party was canceled. So we headed to my sisters house. YAY! A party! There were lots of my "old" friends there, although I don't think they knew what to think of us! We stayed a little and headed on...

The next house (Brad's cousins) was full of men and children. The ladies had excused themselves and headed out to do some mischief, but I didn't tell you that!

From there we went to Brad's aunts house. We were hoping to be there by midnight. Brad knew that there would be guns. He likes guns. Me...not so much! We got there around 11:30, shot the New Year in and headed back home. So that was the beginning of 2011. We started off the New Year with funny memories and a not so old feeling!!!

I'm not much for New Years resolutions. It's the kind of thing where you think of some things that would be great but after a while it wears off! This year was no different. Brad and I talked about the past year and what we thought would be different about the next. 2010 was rather uneventful for us. Lots of things happened, but after the pregnancies and miscarriages in 2009, 2010 seemed uneventful. The thought that this year, Lord willing, we will become parents (through foster care) is so SO exciting for us! We have been praying even now about the children that God will place in our home. Maybe they will be here for a day, week, month, year or forever but either way, we're open to whatever/whomever God sends our way. Sure we still would love to have our own biological children someday but realize that this may be God's way of starting our family.

Another exciting thing is my health. I debated and debated about writing about this on here but realize it's a way for me to be accountable. For years I have been wanting to lose weight but always felt healthy so I never really stuck with anything. This past year though, I have started to feel unhealthy. I weigh more than I ever have. I gained about 20-30 pounds after my 2nd miscarriage and didn't really care. Sad, I know. I finally sat my hubby down and got on the scale in front of him and begged for his help! He loves me just as I am, but he also wants me to be healthy too. He promised me that he would help me and encourage me in my journey. After talking about stuff I decided to join a gym. Planet Fitness was offering a great deal for January. I thought I would probably be sick of it after a few days but it's kinda opposite for me! It's getting addictive! I stop on my way home from work. Started out about 20 minutes on the elliptical and thought I was going to die! Now I'm at 35 minutes on the treadmill. Walking/running. I've been going for over 2 weeks now and so far I love it. Today I had to "force" myself to go, but after I was there and started, I kept going and going longer than I ever had. Next week I want to push myself to 45 minutes and then an hour. It took me a while to get over feeling self concious about sweating and puffing in a roomful of people, but Brad kept encouraging me and told me that people should be proud of me for getting moving! Everyone's in their own little world anyway!

The eating thing is a little bit of a challenge because I love to "snack". But I've been getting healthy snacks. Almonds, granola, yogurt etc. Diets have never really worked for me because after they were over, I went right back to old habits. This time, I want to make more of a lifestyle change. Yes, still eat chocolate every now and then, but not like before. If I deprive myself totally, I'll just want it more. Wow....all of a sudden I'm starting to feel vulnerable! Kinda laying it all out there. One of my fears of writing about this is that the next time "you" see me,
"you" will say..."Oh my...how much did you lose" etc.....I don't want "you" to feel obligated to see changes in me. Hopefully that will happen soon enough. For the record, I lost 4 pounds. YAY! Was hoping to have lost more in 2 weeks, but I'll take it. So the point is, "you" will not notice things change right away! I will take any tips and pointers you may have about what has worked for you!

So here's to new beginnings and a healthier me!

New Journey

2011-01-07T12:08:00.001-05:00

Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed of one day starting an orphanage. I think there are probably lots of little girls that dream that. When I was a little older I begged my parents to take in foster children but they didn't seem to have the same idea I had that a houseful of kids would be so much fun!!! Looking back, they were so right. I do remember though bringing it up a few times. Ask my mom...it's true! I even thought of getting into foster care before I was married, but it looked too overwhelming to do it alone.

So fast forward quite a few years. I met the love of my life, Brad. We talked about it when we were dating. The thing of foster care and adoption. He wasn't too sure about adoption and neither was I really. But it was something we talked about. Then after our 2nd miscarriage in November of '09 we talked about it again. Brad still wasn't feeling the same way I was. I decided to pray about it and leave it in God's hands. If this is what we were supposed to do, I prayed God would reveal that to Brad too.

A few months ago, we were watching TV and a commercial came on about foster care/adoption. It talked about how the need is so huge and there are SO many children waiting for homes. Brad and I looked at each other. I remember asking him if he still feels the same way that he did a year ago. He didn't. He told me that he's been thinking about it lately too and feels like even if we could make a difference in one child's life, it would be worth it. We talked some more about it off and on the next few weeks/months. Brad's main concern is/was that I would get so attached to these kids and it would break my heart when/if they have to go back to their parents. While I know it would be disappointing, I also know that I would move on. After a day or 2 of crying and "letting go", I would move on. That's kinda how I deal with things.

So we both decided to pray about it and ask around about different programs. Meanwhile I heard a commercial on the radio about an open house that COBY's was having. We decided we would go and at least get some information and see if this is really for us. COBY's main office is literaly 5 minutes from our house. On Tuesday night we went and both felt so called that this is where God wants us. The lady in charge of the evening said that they have 3 training sessions/year. She informed us that their winter session starts on Thursday and there's still room in the class!! With a few minutes to talk about it we both decided to go for it. This time of the year is definitely better for us. We have classes every Thursday night for 9 weeks.

Last night there was ALOT of information given and all kinds of stuff to think about. They asked why we are there. My answer was "Because the need is SO great and we have the room and the heart for these kids". Basically we have no excuse. Our arms are aching for kids to love on and help. Sure I know we very well may get a child that is "unlovable", but I am convinced that God will give us the strength and love that we need.

Last night after we crawled into bed at 10:15 we talked about this journey we are starting. I told my husband that I really am not sure what we are doing. It all looked so overwhelming. The MOUNDS of paperwork, housevisits, etc. Is it really worth it? Are we ready for sleepless nights, sick kids, doctor visits, parent visits, maybe school kids etc. I was seriously feeling ready to back out of it all. Brad told me the more we get into it and the more info we get, the more excited he gets. That's what I needed to hear. While I know that most of the work will fall on me, I still needed to know that he's with me.

It seems like everything is happening so fast. We haven't really talked about it with alot of people other than some family and friends. We know that it will be a while before we have children assigned to us so it does give us time to prepare. Time to get outlet covers put on, guns locked up, rooms ready etc!! There is all kinds of stuff we have to do! We so know though that this is what we are supposed to do...walk through this open door. If at the end of these 9 weeks, if we're not ready to take in children, we at least have our training and have that part of the process finished.

Pray for us as we start this journey. I know there are many of you in blogland who have done foster care/ adoption so any advice you can give us is great!!

***Brad just called me at lunch time to tell me of the plans he's making to build a great big tree house and swing set in the back yard!! LOL Don't know what the regulations would say about all that but it's fun to dream! : ) I love to see him so excited about this too!

Christmas Celebrations

2011-01-06T13:24:00.000-05:00

Our Christmas festivities this year started Christmas Eve. with Brad's family. I know there are many families who spend Christmas day dashing from one family gathering to another. I can't imagine that it wouldn't get stressful getting your kids in and out and moving from place to place. What a long day. But hey..if that's the way you roll...fine by me! Thankfully Brad and I don't have to do that. We "take turns" with our families. This year Thanksgiving Day was spent with the Rollmans and Christmas Day with the Petersheims. Makes for, in my opinion, a more relaxing holiday.

Although, is there such a thing as a "relaxing" time with family!!! I barely remember the days before the inlaws and the nieces and nephews and can't imagine how quiet those days must have been! Now, there's noise everywhere and the kids all want you to play with them and check out their new stuff, games get started then there are always the intense discussions. Oh but I wouldn't trade it though. Each family has it's own dynamics and yes, things change and inlaws come along and kids get added, but that's what makes it fun and makes it family.

I learned something new this year. Long ago my hubby told me he had taken piano lessons as a child and used to be able to play all kinds of stuff, but I had never really gotten the chance to hear him play. Our party was at Jim & Stacy's place and they have a lovely piano. Stac got out some music and persuaded Brad to play a duet with her. Before we knew it he was playing all kinds of stuff. AMAZING! He played "The Drummer Boy" in all 4 parts and barely missed a note. Pretty good I'd say after probably 20ish years of no more lessons. Now I'm on the lookout for a piano to have here although I have no idea where we would put it. I just like to think of how romantic it would be to have him serenade me every night!

This year, with Brad's family, instead of individually exchanging names we did it as couples. It was fun to get gifts that we both wanted. Keith and Heather had our name and got us 2 mountain pie makers. Can't wait to use them when we go camping this spring! Brad's parents gave me a griddle and a 2 year subscription to Taste of Home. Brad got a tarp he wanted and another mountain pie maker! Looks like we are set now.

Jeremiah loved the tool set we got for him. Uncle Brad had just as much fun getting it all out of the packaging!

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On to the Petersheims on Christmas Day. Mom made her traditional roasht, and all the fixings! Roasht is like bread filling and turkey mixed together. It's a traditional meal for Amish weddings. Thankfully my parents were Amish at one time and so now we make sure that she never forgets how to make it! It's a favorite with all of us.

Dad read the Christmas story before we opened gifts.

Brad got a nice water cooler that we have been wanting.

Mom gave each of us gals a beverage dispenser thing. You can light a tea light under it to use for hot drinks.

Hunting was the theme for Christmas this year. 2 of the boys got this hunting set from Ma-Ma and Pa-Pa. the deer actually ran and then you tried to shoot them with the bow. What a hit! It provided hours of fun for them upstairs (away from us : ) ) until one of the deer broke!

My brother brought this thing along. It plugs into the TV and you shoot at the deer that come along. We all had our turn to play. What fun!

This Christmas did seem different than other years. Something came up between Brad and I the day before Christmas and then Christmas morning the prenancy test I took was negative. I was soooo hoping God would give us the gift of a baby for Christmas. I tried not to let it put a damper on my day, but it did. All I wanted to do was go home and cry. It was there in the back of my mind and I regret it now. Regret that I took it and regret that I let it get to me. But the truth is, it "gets to me" sometimes.

A few days later and a few good cries later, everything was "ok" again. Brad and I spent a few late nights talking stuff out and now, are more in love than ever. Isn't it funny how marriage is? Tough stuff comes along but you work it out and then it makes your marriage stronger than ever. Good try devil!

Ok wasn't planning on that all coming out in this post but so goes....

Christ in Christmas?

2010-12-23T15:22:00.000-05:00

It's one of those things we hear everywhere this time of year. "Keep Christ in Christmas" or remember the "Reason of the Season". But how do you do that? I mean really, how DO you? Just like other sayings it kinda goes in one ear and out the other. Does it mean that we make sure we read the Christmas story before everyone digs into the presents? Does it mean we think of those less fortunate than ourselves? Or maybe it's making sure we have nothing "santa-ish" sitting around. I would love to hear what you guys think...

My brother Jim and his wife playing Joseph & Mary

The past few years Christmas didn't really "feel" like Christmas. 2 years ago we were on our honeymoon. Last year we were in Florida. This year I've been so busy with substituting at school and getting everything else done. It seems like we've been running ever since Thanksgiving. With organizing the parade and then our church's Nativity the weekend after that, Christmas dinners, and working at my other job on Saturdays, and getting the shopping done... it's been crazy.

So then I think to myself, "what is Christmas supposed to "feel" like"? For me, I guess it's different things. I think mostly to how it was when I was living at home. Things like making cookies, having the whole family over to do chocolates, the kids coming for a sleepover, rearranging the presents mom had wrapped and driving her crazy, and just spending time with family.

We still do that now but it's different when you're married! There are more responsibilities and other things to think about. Like now when there are family get togethers you don't just show up, you're in charge to bring something too! Life changes and you make new traditions.

I don't know if you've thought about the music playing as you go shopping and do your errands. Sure, you hear all kinds of songs but what amazes me is the "Christian" songs being played everywhere. Brad and I went to Red Lobster for our anniversary. While we were feasting on shrimp and lobster I told Brad to stop and listen. "Go Tell it on the Mountain" was coming from the speakers. Did people even hear? Go tell it on the mountain that Jesus Christ is LORD. I wonder, with all this politically correct mumble jumble going on, how long will songs like that be played? For some reason at Christmas, stations that wouldn't even mention Jesus, now play songs telling of his birth and life. I think we as Christians should celebrate that. Sure it's just at Christmas time but my prayer is that someone would hear the song and the message in it. Let's pray that as those songs get played on rock and country stations all over, that someone would hear the song in a whole new way!!!

This year I again made trays of cookies to take to the neighbors. We have 2 close neighbors and they are the ones we took cookies to this year. When we knocked on the door of the neighbor beside us the dear lady said "I guess you heard my husband passed away". Brad and I were both shocked. We had no idea! Here our neighbor had passed away back in September and we had no clue. No clue that just next door a family had been reeling from the news that their husband/father had cancer and a few short weeks later he was gone. We stayed and chatted awhile and she told us all about his final days and how things have been since then. It was a huge eye opener to me to seriously pay attention to those right around us.

Each year I ask the Lord to show me something new in the Christmas story. You know how when you hear the same things over and over again you kinda forget about the "story". It seems every year, something hits me all over again. With being so involved in the Nativity, there are oppurtunities everywhere to just let the Christmas story sink in.

This year, it was Joseph. I don't know exactly when it hit me or when I really thought about it. He was the daddy to Jesus. The DADDY to JESUS. Seriously how would you do that? A few years ago I thought of Mary and the HUGE calling on her life to be the MOTHER of JESUS but this year I thought of Joseph. Maybe it was sometime in hearing my brother as he played the character of Joseph. One of the lines he said was something like "How, HOW, am I supposed to be a Father to the SON OF GOD?" Jim did such a good job acting the part and it made me really think. I wonder what all Joseph went through. Mary???...yeah I'm sure things were amazing for her too but Jesus was in her womb. Joseph??? He just had to fill the part. Jesus was not his flesh and yet he took on the role of his earthly father. What an amazing man Joseph must have been. I picture him as this humble man, not easily riled up, confident in who he was and who he was called to be. He must have loved his wife soo so deeply. He had to, to not give a rip about what people were fussing about. I'm sure he was Mary's rock when she got stressed out from the gossip flying all around her and even when she got those moments of "freaking out" about the calling on their lives.

In the stable, in the last scene in the nativity we do,Joseph sings a song called "How Could it Be". One of the verses in the song goes like this..."Father show me where I fit into this plan of yours. How can a MAN be FATHER to the SON OF GOD. Lord for all my life I've been a simple carpenter. How can I raise a KING." I've just been letting that soak in. Joseph took on that responsibility. I can not imagine how he must've felt.

So back to my question. How do you make sure that amidst all the hustle and bustle of getting the right gift for the right person, attending parties and get togethers, and everything...how do you keep your focus where it should be? I think for me it's simply asking God to bring things to mind. Sit down and let your imagination run wild. How must've it been when Jesus was born. Teaching first grade is the perfect place to let that happen! One morning for devotions we talked about that. Imagine what it was like. The things they came up with were just precious. It would be "scary" to be a shepherd and all of a sudden there are angels everywhere etc.! But that's what does it for me. Letting my mind go and imagine, and meditating on HIM.

It still baffles me though how ALL of God and who he is fit into one tiny, infant, helpless baby. That the great and mighty LORD of the earth would humble himself and come down to earth just blows my mind! And on top of that yet, that poor, little ole me may call him Father and he claims ME as his child...

To me....that is the REASON for the season.

Merry Christmas everyone and don't forget to Keep Christ in your Christmas this year!!!

Christmas Time's A comin

2010-12-20T17:08:00.000-05:00

"Christmas Time's a Comin'...Christmas Times a Comin'...." My mom used to always sing that song around this time of year and now it's ringing in my head too!

I know there are lots of people who hate the way that Christmas is pushed before Thanksgiving even rolls around, but I guess I don't really feel that way. I love having the house all Christmasy and cozy for the holidays. We only get a few weeks till Christmas is over so I like to make good use of it!

My hubby is one of the "scroogy" types! He thinks it's ridiculous that Christmas starts so early. He did give me "permission" though to decorate after Thanksgiving but not a moment before!. Well....I got him persuaded to let me start Thanksgiving eve. Neither of us had to work the next day and were able to sleep in. We had to go to the barn to get a load of stuff out of there and when we got home we were both still feeling energetic. Soooo we went to Sheetz around midnight and got us some grub and then got all the Christmas boxes out and ready to go. We had a blast working into the wee hours of the morning to make our house "Christmasy". That's the kind of thing that makes memories!

The first Christmas that we were married we were on our honeymoon so we didn't have any decor up. When we got back from our honeymoon we bought all kinds of stuff on clearance for our Christmases to come including our tree. I think we got it for like $20.00! The regular price was over $80.00. The ornament above we got at Hallmark to celebrate our marriage. "For love, for life, for keeps, for real"

Brad knew I love Willow Tree and I had mentioned that someday I would love the Nativity set. Last year around Thanksgiving he said he has my gift. Should he give it to me now? Sure why not! It was the Joseph & Mary, baby Jesus part of the Nativity set. And then he said that he was going to give me a part to add to it every year. I said, Aw, thanks hon! Then he says "Well, should I just give it to you now? I have the rest in my truck!" LOL So, the depressing part is that I have my gift for the next 3 years. GROAN. But it is nice to have all the pieces up and something tells me I'll be getting gifts anyway! ; )

This dear ornamnet was handpainted by my hubby when he was just a young'un.

I didn't buy too much extra this year other than a few auction finds for a dollar or 2! The candle lamp above I got for $3.00. The shutter below was Free. It was pink and I repainted it. The angel in the scene below that was also a cheap buy.

And then comes cookie day. OH MY! Believe it or not, this is the first year that we women got together to make Christmas cookies. I wanted to try an icing cookie this year so we got together and made it a blast! Mommie and the preschoolers joined in for some of it too. There is something so beautiful about generations together.

Now it's the week of Christmas and I am finally getting my Christmas cards in the mail. The "letter" was typed out about a month ago and then things got crazy and cards got put on the back burner. I thought for sure I'd have them out in good time this year but I stayed true to my procrastinating self!

Parade and Personal Problems!

2010-12-10T14:53:00.000-05:00

We are on the committee for our church's annual LIVE NATIVITY. Oh my goodness...it is sooo much work but it is also so rewarding. The month of December finds us running hither and thither. Of course if some of us didn't procrastinate like we do, things would not be as crazy! But that's so me. Always has been, maybe always will be. The weird thing is though that I'm ok with it. I think! I work better "under pressure" and something within me loves the crunch time. It IS something I am trying to do better in though!

This year, we as a committee, decided to also do a float in a Christmas parade in a town near here. Brad and I were in charge of organizing it all. Because of me and my procrastinating issues...my dining room and laundry room became painting areas. It was way to cold to do it out in the garage but had I not procrastinated and done it this fall or even summer *gasp* my house would've been unscarred. Hey, nothing a good cleaning can't take care of. I bought some old sheets from Goodwill and just painted the words on there. We plan to get vinyl banners made to use in years to come.

This is how my kitchen looked almost every day and even for a couple of days in a row. Shocking I know and embarrassing, but, it's life. Should I admit something else? This wasn't even one of the worst days! Let's just say my poor hubby was very patient through it all and even survived on eggs or sandwiches for supper a few nights in a row.

The big sign got painted in the laundry room. I'm still wiping green spray paint off of weird places!! It got so old walking around this thing too. And the laundry kept piling up.

On to the parade. It was a cold, cold day but the float riders braved it all. This was our first year in this parade and things were soooo unorganized. We got shuttled to the wrong place and I had to hike it back the 25 or so miles...ok ok that was a stretch. Probably more like a mile or 1/2 a mile but it felt like so much more! We pretty much ended up back where we had gotten shuttled from. Meanwhile the rest of the group found a bus to ride back on. All in all it was a fun day and we even tied for 3rd place. Our prize was $200.00!!! We were so thrilled. Click HERE to view the parade. You have to fast forward it to about 124 to see us! The angels were singing but you can't hear them. Hopefully we'll have mics next year.

Brad made the stable out of wood from the old barn we took down. And the sheep (in the picture below) seriously stole the show. We think they are the reason we got 3rd. Next year we hope to put a donkey on the float and get 1st prize!!

Brad got us all started and on our way and then hightailed it out of there to finish up the barn. So while I was waving to everyone on the parade route, he and a few helpers managed to get it all done! It now looks like this...

Our garage? Well that's a different story. About 2 of the 3 bays are FULL of wood and doors and other barny stuff! We're in the process of listing some of it for sale and some of it we are keeping for projects. Projects that could take a year or 2 if we put it off long enough.

I need to wrap this up and get ready to head out the door to our first night of Nativity! This will be a busy weekend for sure! Come on out and see us and experience Christmas in a whole new way!

Lazy Sundays and Old Barns!

2010-11-21T16:47:00.001-05:00

It's Sunday and for the first time in a looooonng time, we stayed home for the WHOLE day! Last night while laying in bed we decided to turn off our phones, and alarm clocks and sleep as late as we want too. We BOTH got up around 10:00! For my husband especially, that is so rare. We felt a teeny tiny little bit guilty about not going to church! I especially enjoy my Sunday School class and didn't really want to miss it, but we decided to just take a day today. Normally, Sunday mornings are anything but relaxing because we leave early to set up the sound system at church and practice for worship. We got out of our responsibilities at church for a few weeks so we decided to take advantage of our first Sunday off! I guess it's ok as long as we don't make it a habit!

Part of the reason we were exhausted by today was this...

About a week ago, we found an old barn advertised on Craigslist for free. We thought it would be a fun project and hopefully we could make some money by selling the wood and doors etc. We're hoping to use the money to go on an anniversary trip in January or February! I wouldn't say I'm totally regretting the decision to do this BUT.....oh my goodness, I am feeling muscles I never knew I had! Brad and I were both so sore this morning and last night.

Guess it's not something everyone would like to do, but Brad and I both love to get our hands dirty and the creative side of me sees all kinds of things I want him to do and make with all of this old wood! Yesterday, when I finally sat to take a break, I asked Brad if he thinks we'll regret doing this. It seemed like it was going to take forever and I'm the type to second guess myself pretty quickly. I was thinking "Oh my...we're sore and achy and who knows if we will even make any money from this thing"! Without missing a beat he said "I don't regret it at all....I'm having a blast"! I have a feeling if I would ask him that today he would say the same thing, even though he wasn't feeling 16 anymore! : )

After reading the book "Wild at Heart" a few years ago...one thing that always stayed with me is "be part of your husbands adventure". It makes him feel so loved when I'm right there by his side pounding nails out and "ripping down barns". There were many other things I could've done yesterday, but I wouldn't have missed being there beside him. Sore and achy as I am.."I don't regret it! Not one bit!!!"

Kevin & Joy!!

2010-11-21T16:13:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago, the last of Brad's single siblings got married. Kevin & Joy met online on a Christian dating site. It's honestly amazing to me how God brings people together. She is from waaayyyy over the "pond", Kenya, Africa, and he hails from the teeny little town of Ephrata.

My friends and I used to argue about the question "Does God have 1 perfect person in mind for you to marrry?" Brad and I still discuss it. He says there is not a doubt in his mind that I am the one and only for him. I agree and know he is "the one" for me too.

It makes any love story amazing. Brad and I lived within miles of each other all of our lives even though it took a while to find each other! Kevin & Joy know they were meant for each other and I think it's so neat that no matter how far apart geographically people are, God can still bring them together!

Running

2010-10-23T17:06:00.000-04:00

It's within all of us. The desire to run when things get tough. We just want to disappear and hope life is better because we ran. But is it? Does running make things better? I'm not only talking about running physically, but running emotionally.

I don't know how you've found it, but in my experience, running never fixes anything. Maybe temporarily, and for a little bit, but not long term. There will always be something else to run from. Hard situations, difficult people, emotional devastation, empty cribs, etc. Our choosing not to deal with things, or "shoving them under the rug" IS, in a sense, running...

Yesterday the girl we had living with us ran. Ran from frustrations, from people who loved her, from herself even, but most of all from GOD. Yesterday was a very emotional day of me asking myself all kinds of "What if's". What if we had done this or that, or if other people had done this or that...But the answer was clear...She would've found SOMETHING to run from. Things got so scary to her and so she did the only thing she knew how to do...RUN.

I know the stuff going through my head yesterday was all lies that the devil was filling my head with, but it was real to me. That was one of T's frustrations...people telling her not to listen to the lies. But to her they were very real. I feel for her in a whole new way. The lies ARE real to me. Yes, I know they are lies...but that doesn't change the fact that they are in my mind. Just like we were trying to help her...I hear my words echoing back to me..."Fill the spots those lies took with truth" So that's what I'm doing...taking my own advice! : ) The truth that I did exactly what I needed to at the time, the truth that it is out of my control...only GOD can work in her life.

That doesn't make it any easier that there is an empty guest room in my house. I prayed for her as I packed her stuff into boxes. Prayed that God would meet her and show himself to her in a whole new way. We will miss her. Yes, it had it's adjustments and challenges but it was also so rewarding to walk through this journey with her and be there for the good parts. I think of all the progress she made and hope things keep replaying in her mind as she RUNS.

I think more than anything it has been such a picture of Christ's love for me and for us, his Creation. Choice is a beautiful thing and yet so so scary. It makes ME so, so sad to think of the choices she is making and to think of her running right back to the scary things she ran FROM, but how much more love her PARENTS have for her and even more so her heavenly FATHER. How his daddy heart must be breaking right now to see her turn her back on HIM once again. The beauty of choice is that HE will be waiting with his arms wide open when she gets tired of running. Just simply waiting to erase all the choices she made and give her a clean slate.

It makes me want to thank HIM all over again for HIS LOVE for ME. It also makes me so thankful to be part of HIS family. We have felt so many prayers over these past few weeks. I honestly hate to think of how different today could've been for Brad and I if people hadn't been praying for us. Today has been a much better day. Yes, still things to work on, and lies to erase, but GOD is here.

Emotion....

2010-10-04T00:13:00.000-04:00

It's late...

It doesn't happen too often that I am up this late anymore. Guess it's the age in me coming out! The weekend is almost over and the week ahead looks long. Wonder what all it holds?

I sit here listening to the sounds around me.
It's raining again
My husband softly snores beside me....sometimes not so softly! : )
My fingers fly across the keys but I am using the backspace more than I should. Writing a line....erasing it....wondering how much I want to put out there for all the world to see. Blogging is an incredibly vulnerable thing for me. It exposes all parts of us. The silly, the bored, the tired, the social, the pained, the sad, the joyful...But I love to look back on things that happened and be able to see God's faithfulness in everything.

It happened again today. The red flow that tells me my womb is empty. I was so hoping it would be holding life this month. Guess not. Instead the week looks long...filled with constant reminders that I am not yet a mommy, and Brad is not yet a father. Filled with the empty feeling that now is not God's time for our family to start. Will it ever be time? I refuse to give in to the fear that my womb may never house life for 9 months. Refuse to give in to the fear that my arms will never hold my own child.

Fear..I command you to leave and I choose to replace it with trust. Trust that I serve a God who knows best for my life. Trust that no matter what my future holds..my God is ALREADY there.

He was there 3 weeks ago when we chose to open our home to a young lady who was tired of running. He's been there in the 3 weeks of adjustment and changes. Huge changes. Frustrating times. Times of misunderstanding and yet seeing her choose to turn her life around has been so worth it.

Maybe it's best that she is here right now. I can't really grieve. You see, I have to be the strong one for her. The one who is helping her to see that God loves her and has a plan for her, even though my heart wants to doubt that he does for me. Maybe it's best that I can't wear my emotions on my sleeve right now. Instead I wait till the house is still and then I let my emotions go.

Raw, raw pain and fear. My tears won't stop...

I sing on the worship team at church. Sometimes it's the hardest thing to do especially when you feel empty and feel like you have nothing to give, and even harder when you don't "feel" like worshiping. Music ministers to me more than anything else. So instead of holding in the tears this morning, I finally left them fall....

"Blessed be your name when I'm found in the desert place, though I walk through the wilderness, Blessed be your name. You give and take away, you give and take away. My heart will choose to say...LORD blessed be your name."

"Precious Jesus, I am ready, to surrender every care. Take my hand now, lead me closer, Lord I need to meet you there."

These songs aren't the easiest to sing when your mind is full of hurting people and the pain of loss in your own life. Our pastor closed the service by asking everyone to raise clenched hands to the Lord. Tightly clenched hands raised up all over the church. Then he told us to open our hands to the Father when we were ready to surrender whatever we were holding onto to HIM. I stood there with my hands tightly clenched before my GOD. Holding onto frustrating situations with the girl living with us right now, holding onto the dream of having a baby when I knew the blood was flowing as we sang...And then I left it go....I opened my hands to my Father God and gave it to him. I could physically feel the difference. It felt freeing.....I stood there drained and vulnerable....

It still hurts. I'm still scared. But in spite of it all, I choose LIFE. I choose to TRUST in a God whose plan is so So SO much bigger than my own.

Yes, I will cry. Yes, I will mourn the life that's not there like we were hoping it would be. But I will move on.

Beach 2010

2010-09-21T11:40:00.000-04:00

So I know that our family vacation was over a month ago, but it's been one of those blogs spinning around in my head. One of the main reasons I blog is so that I can look back on those memories or times in my life. Family vacation is most certainly something I want to archive!

For years now, my family has been going to the beach for our summer vacation. We started out camping, and then when the grandkids started coming along, we found that getting a house was just a lot easier. I think we finally found a house now that will accomodate us in years to come. Each family/couple/single person has their own bedroom and the closets are big enough to be a bedroom so the children slept in closets in their parents rooms!

I loved every minute of this vacation. Ok, almost every minute. There was the 15 minutes that Gracie was lost. I didn't like that so much. It was absolutely terrifying. We had been at the beach about 15 minutes and realized Gracie was no where around us. We scattered, looking for her. Jim told the lifeguards and they messaged her name and age down the line using their little orange flag thingys. Some ladies found her and brought her to me. When I found her she was 4 or 5 lifeguard stands down. That was the longest walk in my life. We were all crying when she was safely in her momma's arms. We talked about it a few times over the week about how different our vaction and lives would've been if things would've been different. It definitely gave me more of a heart for missing children and for what their families must go through.

Last year over vacation I had just had surgery after my miscarriage and was an emotional wreck! I couldn't go in the water so sitting on the beach wasn't very fun for me. I remember thinking last year, that maybe I would have a baby by next vacation. Little did I know that I would have another miscarriage before next vacation. The thing I loved the most about vacation was having my man around 24/7! We even took an evening and went out on a date...just the 2 of us...and ice cream, with sprinkles thank you very much!

One thing I love about our family vacation is how we are each on our own and yet do everything together. We usually all drive out to the beach separate and whoever gets out first finds a spot big enough for all of us. Some of us stay on the beach all day, some for an hour or so. We often hit the pool when we got back and then it was naps and games while the children slept!

Babies ate the sand, the rest of us played in it. The waves were perfect so we spent a lot of time in the water. There is nothing like some sun and sand and water and family.

I am so blessed...

Favorite Casserole

2010-08-27T16:12:00.001-04:00

One of the things I was most scared about when I got married was the cooking. The very idea of planning a meal every night was so intimidating to me and I was sure I would fail miserably at it! I was much more of a "baker" growing up, and only when Mom went away would I attempt cooking. My brothers and dad always seemed to be ok with and seemed to enjoy any cooking I did. Usually after the meal the conversation would go like this...

Me: So what did you think

Guys: It was good

Me: But did you like it

Guys: It was good

Me: Should I make it again

Guys: It was good

I am seriously laughing my head off as I type this! It really didn't go like that but it kinda sorta did! To them it was food and it was good. That's all that mattered. I could usually tell if they really liked it though.

Thennnnnnn I got married and thankfully, my husband is the world's most unpicky eater! At least for hot cooked food that is. Not so much a dessert man because he's not fond of fruit. Any dessert with fruit in it is out of the question except apple pie. He loves apple pie. Do you have any idea how hard apple pie is to make? I wouldn't know because I've never tried to make it, but the thought alone is intimidating! Another very good thing about cooking for my husband is that after living on his own for 10 years and surviving on Burger King and Subway for supper and the occasional ring balogna and ice cream, he was thrilled to have a cook in the house. I think he married me so I would cook for him! Just kidding! But he did hear my fears about cooking and pretty much shattered them....

I absolutely LOVE cooking for this man! He loves anything I make and lets me know how much it means to him that I cook for him. He loves when I try new things. One day as he was leaving for work, I warned him that I don't know how supper is going to turn out because I'm gonna experiment and throw some things together. He said "Go for it! I can't wait to come home and see what you made". I don't even remember what I made, but I do remember that it WAS good. I really need to start writing my experiments down so I can make them again! I love twisting recipes around and making them my own. Bottom line...I pretty much love cooking. Ok, I do get sick of coming up with meals all the time but the good thing is that Hubby loves leftovers too! One meal lasts us 2 or 3 so basically I cook about 2 or 3 times a week!

I'm not really a casserole person but do love a few of them. One of my friends brought this as a meal after one of my miscarriages and we both loved it. I looked around in my cookbooks till I found a similar recipe and now I make it alot. Not every week alot, but probably like every month! I also make it for the old couple I take care of. In fact I just made it today and that's what made me remember that I had wanted to blog about it.

I love when people post recipes with pictures. I also love when people post simple recipes on blogs or facebook etc. That's why I thought I would put this on here. It really is so simple and delicious...

6 Layer Casserole (taken from Weavertown Cookbook)

Start out by peeling a few potatoes. I usually do about 5 potatoes and also whatever veggies I want. I often use beans or peas instead of carrots. For these pics I used carrots because that's what the recipe calls for!

While I'm peeling veggies, I also am frying the hamburger. Don't ya just love being a woman and being able to multitask?!

The fun thing about this casserole is layering everything. Layer a bunch of potatoes, then the carrots and then some chopped onion. And another thing I LOVE is that you don't have to cook the veggies!

Then the hamburger, a sprinkle of pepper,

and then a layer of Velveeta cheese slices

After that use a can of cream of mushroom soup and put it over everything. Then I also sprinkle some parsley on it.

Doesn't it look so pretty from the side?

Then cover it and pop it in the oven for 1 and 1/2 hours

Yummo....

Mine got a little burnt but we like it crispy!

Enjoy and keep it simple!

6 Layer Casserole

2Cups Potatoes

2Cups Carrots

1 medium onion, chopped

1 lb. ground beef, fried and drained

Velveeta Cheese slices

1 can Cream of Mushroom soup

Layer ingredients in order given in a casserole dish. Bake at 350* for 1 1/2 hours

Tea Party

2010-08-27T15:34:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago, I was lucky enough to win a tea party giveaway, from one of my favorite blogs. This site is chock full of all kinds of gardening tips and helpful advice.

Funny thing is, Esther was also my Home-Ec teacher in high school and I can remember learning lots of good things from her.

If you ever get the chance to have enjoy her garden...go for it! Her backyard is beautiful and so peaceful. You can tell that flowers are her passion, not to mention all of the fun little goodies she finds here and there!

Esther had just finished hosting a twilight tour and had had ots and lots of strangers and friends milling about her gardens. When she hosted the giveaway party, the gardens were in tip-top shape. We got to enjoy the surroundings of her hard work. Like the cozy gazebo. Seriously, it looked so dreamy and romantic and were it not for the fact that I would be scared of breaking the old fragile antique bed, I would've laid down for a short snooze!

The company was fun too. They were all ladies I kinda knew but a few I hadn't spent time with in a long time.

We had an enjoyable evening chatting and discussing all kinds of things... and eating...oh yes eating!

Esther not only has a knack for gardening but also cooking. She served a simple, yummy, elegant feast. My favorite was the dessert (of couse). I so wish desserts were as healthy as veggies! A scoop of moose tracks ice cream over a chewy chocolate cookie, and topped with hot fudge sauce. Oh my but it was so so good.

Perfect way to spend a summer evening! Thanks Esther!

Weekend Getaway

2010-08-12T00:24:00.000-04:00

I don't like when my husband works Saturdays. I don't complain though because it's nice not having to stretch the paycheck as much. Besides, he's making up for times this winter when work was slow. He's usually home by 3 or so when he does work on Saturdays so it could be worse, but I still would rather have him home with me!

So a few weeks ago, on a Saturday, when my husband was at work, my doorbell rang and there was this sweet old man handing me a beautiful bouquet of flowers. I ripped open the note...

I was so thrilled! I had always thought it was soooo romantic when a husband did this kind of thing for his wife and now my husband was doing it for me. Totally out of the blue.

This is my puzzled face. Definitely not a mad face although looking at it now, I think I look a bit irritated. But for real, I was puzzled and tickled!

We headed out and made some stops along the way. One of them to MacDonald's to chill with a mocha frappe....mmmmm. Then we had to fill our tire with air. I sat in the car and sipped my frappe while hubby dear did his manly duty and made our chariot ready.

My hubby was determined to keep our destination a secret as long as possible and kept his mouth shut even in the face of true adversity! As soon as we headed east, I assumed we were headed to Philadelphia or somewhere around there. It doesn't get much more "east" than that unless you want to drive for a few hours and head northeast or southeast. Ok..I'm getting off track...We did end up in Philly. Brad reserved an executive suite at the Crowne Plaza Hotel.

Brad said that it actually wasn't as great as the website made it seem, but we did have a lovely room! The executive part meant that we had full access to a 24 hour snack bar on that floor. We did help ourselves to some goodies and then got bagels and fruit there in the morning for breakfast.

It was such a lovely weekend of refreshment and just enjoying each other. We watched movies and talked and laughed and dreamed and just enjoyed being together.

I never dreamed married life could be this good. It feels so good to have someone love me unconditionally and who challenges me to be my very best. He shows me in sooo many ways that he loves me. He empties the dishwasher every morning if it is full. He tells me every day that I am the most beautiful woman in the world. He listens when I pour out my heart and holds me when I cry. He makes me talk when something is bothering me. He tells me every day that he loves me!

I am so glad the honeymoon stage doesn't have to end!

I love you babe! : )

Trash to Treasure

2010-08-03T12:06:00.001-04:00

I love Tuesdays.

Ever since I started working at Farmersville auction, I've been collecting all kinds of treasures. You see, anything that doesn't sell, we as workers get the option of taking it for free. Me, I am a sucker when it comes to free stuff. I spot poor lost items and they seem to call my name.

So a few weeks ago, these old desk ends ended up on the "no bid" pile. Poor dejected things. I wonder what their history is? Right away I thought that they would make a good planter stand.

Too bad I don't have a picture of them before we did anything but they really didn't look any different. I didn't really do anything to them other than get my hubby to make a seat, back and top of old wood. He also fastened it on pieces of wood to keep it sturdy. See, I wouldn't have thought of that!

Hubbys are so handy! I like to try and do most of my redo things on my own but sometimes it just needs manly help!

My hubby has the brains to know how to put together the things I see in my head! Guess that's what marriage is all about...working together!

It turned out just likethe picture in my head. All except the long flowy plants. Next year I will get plants before they are all picked out. I envision plants trailing off of it, down the sides. At least these plants I picked up were buy one, get one free! Not a bad look for $2.25!

Who says trash can't become treasure!

It's Tuesday and I'm off to the auction again! Wonder what will be calling my name today?!

Parents for a Coupla Days

2010-08-02T15:56:00.000-04:00

Is it seriously August already? Where does the time go?!

A few weeks ago I told my nieces and nephews that they should come to my house for the night sometime. I usually like to have them at least once over summer vacation. They promptly informed their mom and I that they want to be here LONG, not just one night!

Without even a second thought I said oh yeah, that would be so much fun! Maybe you guys should come for a whole week!!

Well, till all was said and done, they ended up coming for 2 nights and 3 days. Ummm...can I just say that looking back, I'm so glad it didn't work out to have them longer?!

Don't get me wrong, I love children, and these especially! But I so was not prepared for the changes it would bring! 3 days without facebook, reading story after story, watching Diego and Dora and shouting along ( I think I have the map song memorized!), playing games, a constantly cluttered house, and stuff everywhere!

It was fun though and I enjoyed most of it. The games, stories and videos I was prepared for. The clutter and exhaustion...not so much! One night I dropped into bed and asked Brad if this was how it was going to be when we have children! We laughed and talked about how our lives will definitely change, but at least they will come one at a time!

Brad and I took them to a Reading Phillies game. What fun! They loved it. We stayed to watch the fireworks at the end.

During a pitcher change a clip from the old TV show He-Haw came on and we all sang along at the top of our lungs! Mom and Dad have a bunch of the videos and the kids like watching them.

They also went to work with me on Friday. I am a caregiver for an elderly couple. The couple I work for enjoyed having some "life" around there and I think it's always good for children to be around the older generation! They did get a little bored till the end of the morning but had a great time.

Children bring so much joy to my life and I hope and pray that one day Brad and I will be parents to our own children. They are exhausting, full of energy, make the bathroom all messy when they take baths, want drinks in the middle of the night, and love hearing the same story over and over. But when they throw their arms around you and give you a hug, or whisper prayers with you at night time, it makes everything else disappear. Who needs facebook time and a few moments of silence when a child calls your name? I would give anything to be able to feel my little girls arms around my neck, and have a feeling I wouldn't even see the clutter on the floor.

Make some memories and cherish your kids....

Birthday Surprises

2010-07-28T16:55:00.000-04:00

My parents have a birthday a week apart. My siblings and I don't usually do anything too crazy for their birthdays but we usually do get together for cake and stuff. Often one of their birthdays falls on family vacation time but this year we are going later. I thought it would be nice to take them out to eat. Out to eat with no grandkids. Not that I don't love my neices and nephews but thought it might be kinda special to go somewhere nice. And kids don't really do "nice". I mentioned it to my siblings and they were all on board. Then one of my brothers thought it would be kinda neat to go without the spouses. Guess that takes care of babysitting! The rest of us thought that sounded like fun so the plan was on.

I called Mom and Dad separately that morning and told them that someone wanted me to call them and tell then that they want to take them out to eat tonight but don't want them to know who it is. All I know is they are supposed to be at Country Gardens at 5:00. Mom begged and pleaded for me to tell her who it was. "Well....well....who in the world is it"?? was more like her exact words. And then..."Is it....." and starts rattling off a bunch of their friends. I told her I'm not telling her and hung up midst her stuttering! Then I called Dad and he was all business...."Welllllllll....I'll have to see if I can be home by then". "Maybe you should just tell me who it is". Our conversation lasted all of 1 minute. Found out later from my brothers that he was all in a tizzy trying to figure out who it was, and told them about it immediately after hanging up with me.

Thanks to my youngest brother who is at home alot during the week, we found out that indeed they were both in a tizzy so to speak. He eavesdropped on them getting ready and I'm told the conversation went something like this..."Do you think it's OP's?. Maybe it's someone from our small group". Do you think it's Dennis and Linda. What about Mommie Petersheim"..and on and on. So glad I wasn't there cuz I woulda been giggling.

They left their house 1/2 hour before they needed too. So they were there in PLENTY of time. That's my dad though. Love that about him. Somehow I didn't get that part of all he passed on though....!

Meanwhile the siblings phones were all going crazy....Brad and I were stuck in traffic. There was an accident on 340. Because of the accidnet, my brother Jim was late too as was my brother in law who was supposed to get home so his wife could leave. We ended up getting there about 15 minutes late. It was raining as we went dashing in. When we walked in the door...you should've seen their faces. We heard the usual " I thought it might be you guys"!!!

We had such a good time. It seemed weird to be back in the pre inlaw and grandkid stage. Funny how those things change a family dynamics.

After supper we said our good-byes and headed home. NOT! We all went back to Dad's and pretty soon the rest of the family joined us! We celebrated with cake and ice cream. After all, what's a party without the whole family! The kids had so much fun singing to Ma-Ma and Pa-Pa!

It was so much fun to do this for my parents. Mom told us later that when they left the restaurant dad told her "Now that was special!"

I am so blessed that God put me in such a wonderful family. Yeah, things come up that are tough to work through but there is nothing like having each other and loving each other no matter what!

Rollman Family Camping

2010-07-19T16:58:00.000-04:00

The weekend of the 4th of July found the Rollman clan plus some aunts and uncles and cousins at Camp Swatara. The Rollmans have been doing this long before I came on the scene. Since I love camping, it's a vacation we look forward to every year.

The best part of camping is the food. Oh my....the food! Burgers and potatoes, bacon, eggs, pancakes, scrapple..... I don't really go all out and it's nice cuz each family does their own thing so I never had to make a huge meal to feed everyone.

We made all of our food over the fire. Friends of ours had given us Dutch Ovens as a wedding gift and we use them alot!

Course having such a handsome man help with the cooking makes everything taste better!

During the day there were water fights, volleyballs games, crazy games of Pictionary, and just plumb down sitting and relaxing! I think that's the part Brad and I loved the most.

In the evening we always had a cozy campfire. Some dozed oblivious to all that went on around them! Every year there are a brave few who walk across the fire. When it is time to place a new log on the fire, they fun across it before it has a chance to smolder too long.

There were cute little boys all over the place. It's time someone has a little girl around here. I would gladly try and make that happen. Wouldn't even mind adding another boy cousin. But for now, we're waiting.....

There was a really cute big boy too! He knows that I love his muscles!

These 2 in the pic above were always together. Except for about an hour when poor Joy was running terrified from my husband when he was determined to dump a bucket of water on her during a water battle. Poor Joy found a safe hiding spot in the woods while her frantic fiance was going crazy looking for her. Finally they were reunited and I don't think he left go of her the rest of the weekend!!!

I missed out on the traumatic moment because that was the day I spent in the hospital with my friend Rosie. Read my previous post for more on that.

Brad's cousin Lori does hair. She does other stuff too, but she went to school to learn how to do hair. She brought her clippers and scissors and stuff along, hoping for some clients!

I normally cut my husbands hair. He used to just buzz it all. When I first met him he had a ginormous clump of hair swooped back on his head. He says he started using gel when he met me but....maybe we should stop there. Let's just say that he had been a bachelor too long! I actually love doing his hair and prefer to keep it longer. I do trim it shorter in the summer. Anyway, as everyone around us sat in Lori's chair, their hair would disappear. I made the mistake of saying to my husband "Hey babe, I wonder how YOU would look with no hair". Just the week before that he had shaved his goatee off. I told him that I thought he looked like a 12 year old!! I don't know why, but I love the look of facial hair. Something so manly and rugged about it. Back to the story....I had no sooner said those words than he was in the chair like a flash. I was stunned. He said "should I really do it"? I thought, hey, why not, and said "Sure babe, go for it!"!

Sooooo

Yikes! Don't stop now!

After we got home from the weekend I told him he may as well take a razor to it and do it right since it probably won't happen again!

I kinda like it but I'm ready for it to grow back again.

In spite of everything we had a great weekend. I treasure any time I get with this man, and we have so much fun together! I feel like I missed out on parts of the weekend when I was at the hospital. We were both glad we were not camping too far away and I could go and be with Rosie some of the time. For updates on her husbands condition you can check out his facebook page.

We're already looking forward to the next camping trip!

Life's Curves

2010-07-06T18:15:00.005-04:00

Right now I am sitting in a waiting room at a hospital. You never know what is going to come along your way. Gone are my plans for the week and the camping trip we were looking forward to last weekend was not what we had planned.

We had just set up camp Friday night and were relaxing by the fire when we got the call that my friend Genie was in an accident. He was on his motorcyle and a camper pulled out in front of him. He is considered "brain dead", but his heart is still going strong. He is on life support and at this point he will be on it until God gives his wife peace about taking it off, or performs a miracle . She is believing for a miracle and the restoration of her husband. We are supporting her in that. We came right into the hospital Friday night and then I came back and spent the day Sunday here.

Genies wife Rosie is a good friend of mine. I was in her bridal party a few years ago. It hurts me soo bad to see her going through this. She is due with their 4th child in about a week. She has been so strong and has been leaning on God and the support of people all around her.

Rosie is the one on the far right.

It breaks my heart to see her going through this. I really can not imagine what I would do if I would be in her shoes. Should she take her husband off of life support...should she leave him on? Brad and I have talked about it and he told me that he would hope that I would take it off. But really...I don't know what I would do when it would come down to it. I know that I would probably want to keep him around as long as possible. I really pray that I will never have to make a decision like that.

This whole situation has been a huge reminder to me to cherish each day with my husband. We really have no promise of how much time we will have together. I get to go home to my husband after a long day in the hospital and cry out all my emotions on his shoulder as he holds me. Rosie does not have that privilege right now and I'm sure she would give anything to have that chance again.

...........

Bible School and the Big Picture

2010-06-29T12:02:00.001-04:00

Last week our chuch had our annual Vacation Bible School. There were a lot of kids and adults who came out each night. I helped to teach the 6-8 grade girls. Thankfully I just had to do the craft part and someone else was in charge of the Bible Hour. We got into some interesing discussions with the girls. They were very open about sharing their heart. I really cannot relate to the stuff they are struggling with. I was so blessed to grow up in a Christian home and go to a private Christian school. Sure there was stuff that went on when I was growing up, but nothing compared to what these girls are facing. I really had no idea that things are so bad "out there". You hear of things on the news and in magazines and papers but it's real. In our back yard.

At the beginning of the week, I wasn't sure what to expect. It really was out of my comfort zone for me. I am used to working with "little kids", like first graders, and now I was faced with teenagers! I was scared that I would not have a heart for them or so I prayed that God would give me a heart for them and he did just that. It broke my heart to hear their stories of rape, pressure for sex, sexting, abuse, feeling ugly...and many other things. I pray that God would keep showing up in their lives in little ways. Hopefully something they learned will stick with them for life.

So anyway, I was asked to come up with a craft. Someone suggested I do something with chalkboard paint. We painted frames and did the glass part in chalkboard paint. Then they decorated the outside part.

The best part was that I got all of the frames for FREE! I work at an auction and anything that does not sell, is free for the taking to employees. So I was on the lookout for frames. Others who worked there kept a look out for them for me too!

Love the buttons on this one!

You never know who you will touch today. Sometimes I wonder how many oppurtunites slip us by because we are so focused on ourselves and our struggles. There's a whole other world out there with people who are hurting. Bible School week was smack dab in the middle of the crazy week I was having. It was like God was telling me that my little problems like the A.C. not working, lost checks, missing cell phones etc. are nothing compared to the things these girls have to work through.

We so don't see the Big Picture...

What a Week!

2010-06-29T00:25:00.000-04:00

Last week was crazy here in this household. Now that I'm over everything, I guess it's a good time to vent. I try to keep things positive on here but sometimes, you just gotta let it all hang out! Besides, I love looking back on times when I was down and thinking..."My goodness, that wasn't so bad" or seeing what all it taught me. So here goes. I promise, there are lots of positive things at the end!

It started off last week when we got a phone call from a lady we used to go to for massages. We don't go anymore because we decided there are better ways to spend our money. Not that we don't love massages, but when it comes to choosing between that and paying your cell phone bill, the choice is obvious. Ok, it's not quite that bad, but still! So she called to tell me she found a check that she forgot to deposit. The check was 2 years old. I don't really remember what I said on the phone. My brain was scrambling trying to figure out where we could get $150.00. When I told Brad about it and told him that I don't think we should have to issue her another check, since we already did write a check, and just because of her poor book keeping and business, why should we have to pay it now. Alot has happened in those 2 years. The check was written in the midst of wedding and house renovation bills. Brad balances his checkbook to the T, but somehow with everything we didn't discover the missing check. When we went to combine our accounts and went back over the past few months, everything was in (or so we thought) so we started over. Clean slate. So Brad called her and told her that we feel like we do not need to pay it since we did our part. Brad said she was upset on the phone but....then....a few days later we got a certified letter in the mail with the old check and a mean letter calling my husband all kinds of things like "dishonest, immoral, and questioning his motives". Oh, and she also said that "you should have contaced me several months or so after you noticed the check was never cashed and try to make it right". I'm still trying to figure out why we were responsible in this? But you call my husband those things when he is anything but that and you will see a different side of me! Brad took it all in stride and we had actually thought about it and thought that maybe we should pay it, but when we got the letter it made it soooo much harder. We are going to pay it, but Brad says we're not going to pay it till my heart connects with my head. God's starting to do just that! I told Brad I feel like one of those kids who is obeying on the outside but not on the inside!

Then....on top of that we've been having storms. Big, bad, windy, scary storms. I am not a fan of storms. In one of those storms a tree fell on Brad's truck while it was parked at the shop. It's a "beater" truck (not very nice) so we don't have collision insurance or whatever insurance we are supposed to have that covers a tree falling. So that will take some money to fix it up.

On top of all that we have been having very warm weather and guess what...our air conditioner gave out. They fixed it temporarily but if it breaks again we will have to buy a new system. It's very old so "he" (the A.C. guy) suggested replacing it before it gives out. Brad and I both love being cold and in the winter time we keep our thermostat at 65 and 60 at night. People complain when they come to our house that it is cold and we try and warm things up when people are coming but we like it cold. Plus it saves money. There are reasons why our electric bill was only 65.00 last month! I know lots of people go without A.C. so I guess we could too!

Then one last thing, are you ready. Seriously how much can we take God?!
So last week we had Bible School. On the last night Brad lost his cell phone. We looked EVERYWHERE and people helped us search but with it being dark and his phone being on SILENT, the phone was nowhere to be found. I decided to go right after work the next day and look for it in the daylight. I prayed the whole way there asking God to help me find this phone. Sure enough, I walked RIGHT UP TO IT! Thank you GOD, you know that I so needed to know you cared! The phone was face down in a puddle of water. I could turn it on when I got home but the face of the phone was all wet and had condensation all over it.

We stuck it in a dish of rice for a few days and now it works fine. WHEEEW. What a relief! That's one less bill we will have to pay.

Sooo, God is teaching me (us) all kinds of things. Thankfulness for one....thankful for good jobs when so many people are without, thankful for some money in savings (guess this stuff would count as emergencys), thankful for each other and thankful for the little God happenings in life that let us know he really does care!

Ok, that's all. I think I'm done venting now! Thanks for listening! : )

Got Milk?

2010-06-14T16:54:00.000-04:00

So maybe it's the fact that I was raised on a farm. I don't know, but when it comes to my beverage of choice....it's MILK. I drink alot of water too, but I drink at least 2 or 3 tall glasses of milk a day. Probably even more so since I've been staying away from "fake" drinks. Not even diet soda anymore! At first the break from caffeine bothered me. At least I think that's what it was...guess it coulda just been P.M.S.! At any rate, I've been soda free now for about 2 months I guess. I'm not really keeping track though. I drink mostly milk and water and every now and then fresh meadow tea or other tea. Sometimes lemonade too.

Pretty much anyone can tell you that I am no health nut. Lately though, I've been a lot more careful about what all goes in my body. Maybe it's the fact that hopefully in the next few months my body will be home to a growing baby. Maybe it's the fact that I've had 2 miscarriages and even though I've done some tests and was told that it looks like I am in great health and that is not the reason for my miscarriages, I know it wouldn't hurt me to eat better! So lately I've been watching what I eat and what I drink. Sure, I still go for the sugary treats and have a hard time saying no, but it has been getting easier. I also have been walking and working out with my hubby. More on that at a later post. I really wasn't gonna write all of that.

So what WAS I blogging about? (looks at title line) Oh yeah...MILK!

Ever since a friend of mine showed me what all is IN some milk, I have been telling everyone I know. I took some pictures the other day to prove it. Bet ya never looked at the ingredients in MILK before.

Yes, there it is, listed in the ingredients. "Nonfat dry milk". Ewww.gag. I don't know about you, but when I buy a gallon of milk, I expect it to be fresh good milk! Not dry milk.

Now I don't really like the taste of "raw milk". Good for you if you do, but for some reason it makes me gag. I think back to farm days and remember dad squirting fresh milk right into my mouth from the udder of some poor bovine, and I LOVED it. But maybe it's because I've been off the farm for 20 some years now that it's hard for me to go back to the raw milk.

So, I opt for 2nd best. If you live in Lancaster County, this place is the best place to buy milk!

They are located just off of Peter's Road in New Holland.

Do you know of any other place where they have a DRIVE THROUGH for milk and ice cream and other dairy products?!

Their prices are lower than regualar stores too!

Since we've been getting our milk here, we pretty much refuse to get it anywhere else. Sure, there has been the emergency run to Turkey Hill for milk, but when we are in the area of Lapp Valley we stock up! Stop in and see for yourself!

And this picture has nothing to do with milk, but I'm gonna add it here just cuz I like it! Last weekend my hubby and I went to see SHREK in 3D. Don't we rock the glasses?!

That's all....I'm off to enjoy a cold glass of MILK!

Rich Heritage

2010-06-07T14:47:00.002-04:00

The older I get the more I appreciate where I came from. When I look around at all the junk in people's lives and all the hard stuff they've been through, it makes me even more thankful for the "sheltered" upbringing I had. Sure, I've had my share of stuff, but my few trials are nothing compared to what others have gone through.

(My Mom's mother. "Mommie")

I grew up in a conservative family. My parents left the Amish church when I was 2 years old. There are plenty of things I disagree with about the Amish and they're beliefs but I choose to find the good in the way I grew up, and the things I was taught. Wearing all the right clothes and living a plain lifestyle will not get you to heaven. Having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and accepting him as your Savior will. How sad that many folks don't see it that way. It doesn't take much to realize how sin and evil is often covered up with "good works".

(Granny, Brad's mom's mother)

My family was always close and family is so important to me. The older I get the more I realize how blessed I am to have the family and the heritage I have. My grandmothers are still living. Both of my grandfathers passed on years ago. My fathers dad passed away before my parents were ever married, and my moms dad passed away when I was in first grade. I'm thankful for the few memories I have of "Dawdy".

(My dad's mom. Mommie Petersheim)

At the beginning of this year, Brad and I decided to make an effort to visit each of our grandparents every month. It takes effort and there have been many Sunday afternoon naps sacrificed, but it has been so worth it. Brad's fathers parents are still living and his moms mother is still living. We have been able to visit each one of our grandparents every month except one month. We had planned to "go visiting" the last Sunday of April, but made a quick weekend trip for a funeral so that messed up that month.

(Brad's dad's parents)

It has been such a blessing to sit and visit with the older generation. Yes, we hear the same stories over and over and over again, but we just laugh and nod along as if we had never heard them! Our grandparents are as different as night and day, but there are things we learn from each of them.

My "Mommie" is 92 and lives with my parents. She is probably the one I have the most memories of, especially in the past few years. It breaks my heart to see her aging and getting older. She still has most of her right mind but longs to die and go to heaven. She takes a lot of care, but is still a joy.

Brad's grandparents love to go out to eat. Last weekend we took them out to "Country Gardens". They loved it and so did we! Brad and I come from 2 different cultures and 2 different ways of life. There are good and bad on both ends. Our prayer is that we could be a blessing to each one of these dear older souls. We realize they won't be around forever and we want to make memories with them while we can.

If you haven't spent an hour with your grandma/grandpa lately, I would suggest giving it a try!

Snakes and Smores

2010-06-03T11:34:00.002-04:00

Memorial Day found some of my family gathering at my parents for a cookout and pool party. When we got there, I headed inside bearing bags of food. I stopped dead in my tracks when my husband said in a pretty calm voice. "Hey honey, check out this snake you just walked by". To which I promptly responded by dropping all baggage and running for the nearest safe place. You see, I don't really run toward "danger" (which in this case was a snake), I run as fast as I can the other way. But curiosity got the best of me and I ventured over for a closer look. Sure enough, there it sat, sunning itself and digesting it's latest meal. There was a big bulge in it's middle region. I don't have pics of when we first seen it, because I was to busy being scared for my life. There's just something about snakes that......UGH.

Flash backwards to one of my visits to Nevada. There are rattlesnakes out there and here I am forcing myself to touch one! You can tell my my face that I wasn't enjooying it too much!

We put the snake in a bucket so the rest of the family could see it when they got there. When we went back to get it, there was a frog in the bucket as well. Remember how I said, there was a bulge in the snake? Well, the poor snake had been so distressed by all the commotion that it didn't get time to finish digesting it's meal. Let's just say it looked disgusting!

When my brother came, he put on some heavy duty gloves and stretched it out so the kids could touch it.

"Did you touch it"? you ask. Seriously, do you even need to ask?

The snake now has a home with Dontae's turtle although I hear his mother refuses to let it live in the house. Can you blame her? I sure don't!

Now...on to happier things!

Pretty soon the rain came and forced us to take the party inside. We had planned on starting up a campfire and roasting hotdogs and making smores but ended up doing smores in the oven. Nothing beats a campfire smore, but these were a close 2nd!

Poor Megs was feeling under the weather and even a big huge tower built by the most handsome carpenter in the world could barely get a smile from her.

One of my most favorite things is having my hair played with. When I was still living at home and the kiddos came over, often we would get out all the combs, brushes, barettes and bands in the house and I would lay on the couch with my hair over the end and go to sleep till a sharp tug would wake me up! When there are 3 kids all brushing your hair at the same time, you're bound to have tugs! Breanne wanted me to do her hair, and then T wanted to get in on the action!

I kinda feel sorry for my mom. She loves working in her flower beds, but I'm pretty sure, she will be keeping an eye out now for Mr. Snakes relatives!

Congrats Grad!

2010-06-02T12:36:00.004-04:00

Is it ever too late to chase your dreams?

I've been feeling OLD lately and keep thinking about all of the things I probably won't be able to do in life. Not that it's important, but there are some things that I think would be really cool to do. Like...go on a train ride west for weeks, go to Italy, Hawaii, Alaska. (not on the same trip!) Live in weird places. Point to a spot on a map and go there etc. I'm just realizing that most of these have to do with travel! There are more, but that's what comes to mind now. Some of these things hopefully will happen someday but some...probably not! And that's Ok.

Last night we went to a graduation. The graduate was my husband's 60 year old father!!!

A little over a year ago, due to the recession and all, he was one of the many in this country who found themselves laid off and without a job. He filled out application after application but no luck. So he decided to make good use of his time and go back to school. He's always loved to tinker around with electrical stuff. He wired some of the stuff here when we remodled. We were all kinda shocked when he told us about his plans but were all pretty much supportive.

He went to the local Vo-tech and after a year of hard work, he received a "skilled laborer" type degree. I sat there last night watching him file in and be surrounded by high school kids for the most part, (There were a few other "gray haired" folks too) and thought "wow...how cool"! And it made me think that you are NEVER too old to dream!

Senator Mike Brubaker was the speaker.

And then, after he received his certificate his name was called and he also received a "special merit" award. None of us can really remember what it was for....we were shocked. He couldn't remember either when we asked him later! He was totally surprised too! The speaker and other teachers kept talking about how thankful they were for parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles who supported the graduates. We were thinking "What about their kids?!"

Way to go Dad..we're proud of you!! We're praying that the right job would come your way!

Ohio Trip

2010-05-24T13:19:00.006-04:00

Last week Brad and I traveled to Ohio. The purpose of our trip was to attend a seminar at Freedom Hills. Because of stuff we've each gone through in life, we both have a heart for people and hurts they face. A few months ago something just clicked when we heard some teaching from this ministry about caring for others and we wanted to learn more. Sooo we went for it and had a great week. We learned so much about practical ways to help people work through issues and hurts in life. Seriously, there are hurting people all around us and it breaks my heart that people suffer and go through life without ever talking about them and getting healing. So often we forgive those who have hurt us but haven't forgiven ourselves or found healing from those hurts.

The highlight for us was when we volunteered to get counseled in front of the group. Scary???? YES! And I still can't believe that we stepped out like that, but the counselor made it a very safe place for us. It helps when you know you will probably never see most of the people again! The method of connecting with your spouse and connecting to Christ through prayer just makes so much sense. Brad and I both found healing in different areas of our lives. When you picture the cross in your mind and see your sins and guilt and ugly stuff in your life being washed away, it brings such peace! Jesus also gave me a vivid picture of himself crying beside me at a time in my life when my heart was shattered, and also gave me a picture of him picking up the pieces of my heart and putting it back together! So many, many times since then my mind keeps going back to that picture and I can't help but smile!!!

Another big benefit was getting to spend time with friends! Sharon and I taught school together for 3 years and quickly became great friends! There was a time in our lives when we pretty much knew everything about each other! Time moves on and now she lives "far" away, and is married and has 2 adorable boys!

She's the kind of friend you can call up and invite yourself for supper! We had such a good evening reconnecting and letting our husbands get to know each other. Sharon was there for me at a time in life when I was going through so much stuff. We went back and talked about some of those things and shared how far we've come since then.

My mom traveled out with us to spend time with a friend of hers. Waaaayy back my parents became good friends with Dave and Esther. I remember when their last 2 children were born and we visited each others homes over the years. About 2 years ago, Esther lost her husband to cancer. It felt so weird spending time at their house and not having him there. Mom and Esther had a fun week of just hanging out! We joined them for supper one evening!

I remember how thrilled Dave & Esther were when Jenny was born! After 4 boys, they were so excited to have a little girl! Now she's all grown up! She played guitar for us and she sure has talent!! Her daddy would be so proud! So it sure was a refreshing week and we had a great time. Our heads are packed full of all we have learned. Now we just wonder what all God has in store for us. Our hearts are wide open....

And The Winner Is.....

2010-05-16T22:23:00.004-04:00

First of all...thanks to all of you for entering! It was fun for me to see who all visits this site! Sometimes I wonder if anyone reads what I send into cyber space! Not that it matters cuz the main reason I blog is to get stuff off of my chest and sometimes it's because I want to remember something that happened, but it was still fun!

Sooo here's how we found the winner! We cut all these numbers apart. There were 40 comments so we entered 40 numbers.

Then after I shook and shuffled them all, Brad picked a number!

And the winner is #9....Then we counted down to comment #9....

And the winner is TORI GOOD! She's married to Brad's cousin. Congratulations Tori. I'll be giving you a call and will drop it off sometime!

Stay tuned if you want to buy one. I'll put pics of different ones on here in the next few weeks.

30th post GIVE AWAY!

2010-05-13T15:04:00.007-04:00

It's my 30th post. YAY! Ok, it's not technically my 30th post. Some of my posts didn't make it too the blog so I guess it's more like my 26th. But anyway, numbers shnumbers.

Actually I've been wanting to do a give away for a while now and it just seems like the right time. I love visiting blogs that do giveaways even though I have never won anything!

You may remember a while back of the fabulous find I found at the auction. A pile of kitchen cupboard doors. I bought the whole stack for $1.00. Since then I have painted them and turned them into chalkboards. Some of the bigger ones I made into "message centers", adding corkboard to half and key hooks. They vary in sizes. I am pretty much finished with them all and am ready to sell them! Later I will post the prices and sizes of the ones to sell.

For now though, I will give one away! This is the smallest size. I have about 3 like this. They are almost square and measure 12"x 13".

There is even a little ledge on the bottom that I added to hold chalk and an eraser. This is what the back looks like!

Here are the rules to win this little cutie!
1. post a comment ~ Make sure you add your name!
2. you may enter twice if you post a link on your facebook or blog.

Make sure you comment if you link. You will be added to the drawing according to the number of comments you leave!
And that's it...pretty simple!

Entries will be accepted until 9:00 SUNDAY NIGHT! I will draw a name after that time. If you live out of state, I will ship it to you free of charge!

Good luck and thanks for stopping by!

Date Night!

2010-05-13T14:18:00.002-04:00

Friday, on our daily phone conversation at lunch time, my hubby informed me that I was not supposed to make supper and that he was taking me out on a date. It had been a while since we made an effort to go out and do something. We can be such homebodies! I tried to get it of him where we were going and what he had planned but his lips were sealed! Can't believe I didn't get it out of him knowing our track record with secrets! We went to my favorite restaruant, Olive Gardens, for dinner. Brad drove around to kill time, and pulled into the parking lot at Bob Evans. No offense to Bob Evans but it just doesn't seem like a date type of restaruant, especially with OLIVE GARDENS pretty much right across the parking lot! I tried hard not to look or act disappointed and thankfully I didn't have to try too long cuz pretty soon Brad bust up laughing! We enjoyed a yummy meal at Olive Gardens and then he said he has something else planned too. We went to Village Greens and went miniature golfing. They have, in my opinion, the best mini golf course in the area. We did the longer course. So romantic back through the woods and along a creek. Lots of spots for stolen kisses! Ok, they weren't really "stolen", it just sounds more romantic!
He did win the golf game but only by ONE point! It was neck and neck most of the game.

What a fun night it was. Brad knew I was dreading Sunday, being Mothers Day and all. We thought we would be parents by now. I thought I would be a "mother" by now. Yes, I still look at myself as a mother but in a way, I'm not really. My arms have not yet cradled a tiny person who grew inside of me, but yet, my heart tells me that I am a mother. Thankfully, I have the BEST husband in the world who can read me like a book and knows exactly how to draw thoughts out of me. Even though we long to be parents someday, we rest in God's plan and purpose for our lives and are convinced that in HIS time, our desires will be granted! I'm so thankful for a husband who is strong in walking this journey with me.

Jackson Grant

2010-05-11T11:19:00.004-04:00

This weekend my brother and his wife welcomed a baby boy into their lives. He has a big brother and sister too.

Jackson Grant...

4 Generations.
Jackson is so blessed to have such great parents!

It was almost bittersweet holding him knowing that my little one should be coming in about a month. We had thought they would have so much fun together. Amazingly, it wasn't as bad as I had thought it would be and I felt nothing but JOY as I held him.

Welcome to the world Little Jackson...we're so glad you're here!

Family Night

2010-05-08T08:12:00.005-04:00

My family got together to celebate all the birthdays that have been the past 2 weeks. Mom uses birthdays as an excuse to get us all together! I have 2 nephews and one neice that all have birthdays within a week of each other. My family is one of the most important things in my life. I think relationships are so important and Brad and I always make an effort to get to family things on both sides! I guess being single as long as I was and living at home, family was just always there. There wasn't a week that went by when I didn't see them all. Now living a little farther away, (30 minutes instead of going up the stairs!), I don't get to see them as much as I did before.

Seriously, has there ever been a cuter baby? She is so so precious! I thought her trying watermelon would be fun until I had to dig a piece out of her mouth!

Megan is at such a fun stage right now. She reaches for me, and when I talk to her on the phone, her mom says she smiles and grins! Ok, ok, I know she might not even realize who it is, but I like to think she does!

Life is just so much better with kids all around! It's hard for me to remember how it used to be before the kids came along. They add a whole other level of fun and joy!

After snack, the kids and dads played wiffle ball. These guys can really hit it! They were chasing balls all over the place!

This week has been a crazy week. There've been some things that happend that just make me want to hang on to my family all the more. We don't know how much time we have with those closest to us. I, for one, plan on making the most of all the time God gives me!

Happy Birthday Trevor!

2010-05-08T07:56:00.003-04:00

This little guy celebrated his birthday this week too! He was waiting on the couch when I picked him up according to his mom, I couldn't get there fast enough! Trevor is the kind of guy that makes me laugh. He is SO much fun to be with. He wanted to go to the park. First we stopped at MacDonalds for chicken nuggets. He barely touched them!

It's all about fun with Trevor. His mom could tell you stories and stories of things he says and does! When he's in the car with me, theres not one moment of silence, but I sure don't mind! He is such a good big brother to Megan. His mom sure is gonna miss him when he goes off to 1st grade next year!

When we were at the park, he wanted me to take all kinds of pictures of him. He would run all over the place, stop and say, "Take a picture of me here". It's kinda exhausting spending time with himTrevor has got a way of making people smile and he brings so much joy to our family and to my life. Love you Trev!